Sunday, July 01, 2007

dear readers.

i am in dire need of an update, and i know that. so here it is. my life is in theatre marketing limbo and i'm tired but also enjoying it. life is good (apart from the ever present nagging pain that comes from heartburn). i dont think i'm sick. i refuse to think i am, but i know, at the back of my mind i know something must be wrong. so friends, please pray for me. :)

anyway. coming back from the US i feel like a very different person, perhaps, more, as people around me say, a lot more at peace. i dont feel at peace. i feel all over the place, but it's this crazy running around that i think, makes me so much more at peace when i'm at play. i cant be bothered to think when i'm with people i love. except the ocassional need to work doubly hard so i can keep up with conversations. :P all in all though, i feel great. working (not as hard i think, as my peers though) is therapeutic. i never thought i would say that. but there. i did. haha. :P

i've been thinking about things that matter to me, like my faith, and other important issues and i've learnt alot of things.
i've learnt restraint; that publically declaring something has its consequences, some of which i cannot bear now.
i've learnt to let go also; that God will hear and He will comfort.
i've learnt to accept; that things may change, but things may also be better, or that things still can go on.
i've learnt to widen my view; that the world is not always at fault. sometimes it is my fault, and i have the power to rectify things.
i've learnt that what i am is what i am; that if i dont accept it, then no one ever will.
i've learnt that i'm still young; if i dont enjoy myself now, i'll never have the chance to do it again.
i've also learnt that i'm no big shot; and i want to be, so hard work it is.

that's alot of learning huh? that's why i've been on a hiatus. :)

but i'm back, with a VENGENCE! :D

performing in church at passionArt was surreal, and i know what the next step is for me, but at the same time i feel like a donkey. God says "go." and you go: "really ah? what if it's wrong?"
i'd much rather be a horse. :)

i'm going. :) til next time. :)

i wanna break every clock.

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