if i was invisible

i realised that it's becoming too obvious. all my feelings are starting to show. haha ... man ... i've come to the point where i must say: enough is enough. like that love actually guy. ENOUGH. you've got what you wanted. move on. :)

so i dunno, maybe i'm not so lovesick anymore. i resolved if i dont move on, i will never. and it will kill me. from inside. and besides, i wanna stay friends. nothing else.

anyway ... yesterday i went for some good ole retail therapy ... :) i am happy now ... :) i bought me self new bracelets ... hehe ... not very beautiful pieces of jewellery i guess ... but it's nice and i like it :) hehe ... anyway i also bought myself a totally useless key chain and i think i've been cheated of my money ... haha ... dang :)

anyway, i havent been in a mood to blog ... today i told corrie lots of things ... about how i feel and all ... but honestly there was more ... i just couldnt say it ... (sorry man korr) ... this whole concept of wearing a mask is becoming so convienient that i cant shake it off when i wanna. it's getting harder and harder to be happy. i guess it's the stress. but there a little nuggets of happiness ... here and there ... and i do mean 'little' hehe ... :P but i am happy when i'm doing stuff for people. i guess it's the whole concept of being alone that gets me down. i usually feel better when i talk to people or when people talk to me ... yeah ... so i guess i just need a human being to be with :) haha

anyway ... i am quite uneasy about group and duo lah. like i feel so not prepared ... so will see what happens tomoro ... then i think it'll be better ... haha ... hope ... that's the thing with feathers ... :P

lyrics for you: my fave song for the moment :)

Will Young - Leave right now

I'm here just like I said
Though its breaking every rule I've ever made
My racing heart is just the same
Why make it strong to break it once again?
And I'd love to say I do
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true
So I say...

Chorus:
I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here so please explain
Why you're opening up a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful
Perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows

Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm
So I say..

Repeat Chorus

I wouldn't know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back
Like you say your right on track
But you may never know why
Once bitten twice is shy
If I'm proud perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to lose you again

Repeat Chorus

Yes I will...

Repeat Chorus

haha ... :) quite symbollic of my mental state now :)

in the arms of an angel