been a rough night.

i cldnt sleep last night. it's almost as if i think you read my blog but i dunno if you really do so i dunno if i want to blog abt this. ok but no more inhibitions aye? so i shall write.

confessions are a difficult thing. actually it was easy. but as i always do, sometimes i complicate things. i dunno what you think of it. but honestly i really really want to know. i've repeated this many times. i think i just need patience. ah wells :)

there's this song which has been stuck in my head since i heard leandra sing it on SI last night. i will post the lyrics after this post.

honestly i guess my fears are irrational. i wld think of you as someone who wldnt do all that i expected you might, coz i dont know you well enough. but i will trust whatever you say. i guess i have to dont i? if not the situation becomes awkward, and it'll be difficult to communicate even more. but i do love you. in a way that i think is rather unique. i guess i must come to terms with this. in a sense, love is too easily a word used. and all these types of love. it makes it so ... tangible, so emotionless. like you can classify feelings. i dont think so. i cant find a good way to classify love. it's so universal. i often believe i am mistaking another feeling for love. maybe love is just too strong a word to use.

i'm just happy that you told me nothing's gonna change. it didnt matter to me how i felt about you, all i thought i saw was a friendship brewing between us which i hope will last for some time. i will remember you, as much as i hope you will remember me. [hey this goes out to all of you too k! i know i will remember all of you for a long time. :)] and besides, now i know what i'm doing. and i assure you this matter will be laid to rest. it ends here. i wont pursue it.

to be honest with you, last night is stilla big blur. i have no clear idea how everything unfolded. but to me so far you have responded positively. for that i am happy and grateful :).

k here's the song. this is dedicated to rau, ana, vane and all of us who are hopelessly in love with someone. love hurts guys, but there'll always be a better day. :)

this is dedicated to you too. no i dont fantasize/dream abt you, but i just think this song's really sweet. :) enjoy it everyone. :)

Dreaming of you - Selena

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up late and think of you
And I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me and
I wonder if you Know I'm there (Am I there)
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside
Would you even care

I just wanna hold you close but so far
All I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

I can't stop dreaming of you
I can't stop dreaming
I can't stop dreaming of you

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that
You came up to me and said I love you
I love you too

I'll be dreaming with you tonight
'Til tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world l'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly

this isnt the most apt song to describe how i feel, but i just wanted to share it's beauty with you all. :) there are more apt ones, but the one line that is really apt now is from that don henley song i posted a long time ago:

'there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you cant trust.
there's a reason why pple dont stay where they are,
baby, sometimes love just aint enough.'

ok ... that;'s not the most appropriate either. but then again there really isnt a really apt song lah. if i think of one i will post :)

anyway, thank YOU. for not rejecting me as a person. :)

traded it all for one thing.