another depressing day again ...

i got the freaking letter from MOE today ... just found out that i didnt get the Humanities Scholarship ... i'm upset because i really hoped to get it ... but i didnt ... so i'm feeling rather bitter about it ... argh ...

anyway ... i've been wasting my time doing crap ... so i shall make a resolution ... i will start work proper ... even if it kills me i will ... i'm damn stressed, and i'm starting to doubt JC life is for me ... i guess if i hafta i'll drop out at the end of this year ... ok ... i shall stop thinking so negative ...

anyway ... erm ... had a pretty ok day today i guess ... been bored almost the whole day ... i really wish i cld just pon school one day ... just to retreat and do my work ... sighs ... i feel like i'm behind everyone else in A52 ... i feel like i'm plunging into some sort of self pity hole ... argh!!!!! need ... to ... get ... out ...

ok ... i pissed myself off today again ... coz i just didnt know how to deal with Jene's stoicism ... never had this kinda thing before ... and i just had no idea what to do/say/feel ... i felt really bad ... i'm afraid of many things ... but i dont wanna lose this friendship like the others ... i've got too many broken relationships to deal with ... dang it ... :(

ok ... will stop depressing myself and you ... hmm ...

come take me home