guilty
in the cab today, as i was turning into my estate, i was hit with a sudden urge to call mrs tan and my new boss. to tell the former i want to come back, and the latter i cannot work for her.
but. i guess at the end of the day, i didnt cause i knew, it wasn't really a long term decision, and it wouldn't have been sound.
anyway.
i now have a stuffed teddy whose name is cucumber sitting on my bed. which, is weird, cause i've never seen a bear of this size before. haha. and it's T-shirt gets rolled up all the time. haha. it need to lose weight.
2/5's really not making walking away from them easy. it hurts, even though i hate to show that is does. i wished i could give them something as concrete as cucumber (the teddy!!) so that they'll remember me. cause i will, FOR SURE, remember them. i have this bear fighting for space with me on my bed. haha. man, i sorta wished the internship could have started later. but well. no point in wishing anymore. things have to work out this way.
i must say, i cannot explain why i am leaving. i cannot give an explanation that is not selfish, or not for my own interests. i cannot justify leaving. because it's not about the students. the students are a teacher's saving grace, in the face of what teachers really have to face. and you know, 2/5, if you need someone to blame for me leaving, blame me. because msTan needed to do this for herself. i really think that if i gave this up, i would regret it for life. leaving you guys was inevitable anyway. it was a sooner or later thing. but yeah, perhaps i should have at least finished the syllabus. but well. 3 chapters to go. i guess i'll be around to help out.
AND, you all please promise me something: even if she has an attitude problem (in your words), give the new teacher a chance. it will take some getting used to, but give it a shot. you never know, she might turn out to be good as well. and well, if you dont want to give her a chance, then at least for your own history grades, study the chapters. really. dont do anything stupid like rejecting all of history and not studying just cause you dont like the teacher. i dont want your history grades to go downhill from here ok? you must prove to the new teacher you're intelligent people. dont reject her lah. give her a chance. for my sake ok?
and for one thing. we all (me included) have to learn how to let go. sorry shazlin, but tomoro will be the last time in a long while i'll see you all. maybe i'll see you all on sat wherever your cheerleading is, but that's not a promise yet. let me see what happens first lah. need to settle into my new job first. i want to see you all happy to see me and not cry anymore when we have to part. because if i can promise one thing, i will meet you all again. that i CAN promise. :) so dont be depressed anymore 2/5, we're now friends more than anything, so i will not allow anyone of us to forget the other :)
so. let us all move on. i will be around. and i will pop by at random. so. :) let's look forward to seeing each other again instead of concentrating on me leaving ok :)
i know i have alot more to say ... but i'm hugging cucumber now so it's really hard to type. kendra lah. her fault. haha :P but well,
sharon: stop chopping things up...
deserie: stop crying. :P ice cream!!!
priscillia: stop being possessed. dispossess yourself. :P
shazlin: you also, stop crying. :P and i will always be bigger than you :P
juliana: dont bully the new teacher. eunyse: you also.
amanda: haha. i just remember you lah. dunno for what also. :P
angela: take care of that ankle.
daphne: t-i-double ger - er!
lailin: havent read the poem. but i will. BEFORE I SLEEP TONIGHT :P
kendra: dont spend so much money :P
ariane: go to school more often. :P
crystal: study hard for history :P because i guess re-tests dont come by often
jade: i remember your house! haha :P
dawn: finally found your blog! thanks! :)
Sandra: double scotch tape! haha. :P
ok cant really think of anything else to say to anyone else. eh the rest of you who i havent mentioned! its not that i love you less, it's just that i can't really think of anything else at this point of time. :)
k i'm going to go now. i love you 2/5. let's look forward and move on ok. gosh. that sounded like some NDP slogan. haha. oops :P
"i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly.
though it's not easy to tell you goodbye,
gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change,
and breakaway.
out of the darkness and into the sun
but i wont forget all the ones that i love
i gotta, take a risk, take a chance, make a change,
and breakaway."
shoulda woulda coulda means i'm outta time.
in the cab today, as i was turning into my estate, i was hit with a sudden urge to call mrs tan and my new boss. to tell the former i want to come back, and the latter i cannot work for her.
but. i guess at the end of the day, i didnt cause i knew, it wasn't really a long term decision, and it wouldn't have been sound.
anyway.
i now have a stuffed teddy whose name is cucumber sitting on my bed. which, is weird, cause i've never seen a bear of this size before. haha. and it's T-shirt gets rolled up all the time. haha. it need to lose weight.
2/5's really not making walking away from them easy. it hurts, even though i hate to show that is does. i wished i could give them something as concrete as cucumber (the teddy!!) so that they'll remember me. cause i will, FOR SURE, remember them. i have this bear fighting for space with me on my bed. haha. man, i sorta wished the internship could have started later. but well. no point in wishing anymore. things have to work out this way.
i must say, i cannot explain why i am leaving. i cannot give an explanation that is not selfish, or not for my own interests. i cannot justify leaving. because it's not about the students. the students are a teacher's saving grace, in the face of what teachers really have to face. and you know, 2/5, if you need someone to blame for me leaving, blame me. because msTan needed to do this for herself. i really think that if i gave this up, i would regret it for life. leaving you guys was inevitable anyway. it was a sooner or later thing. but yeah, perhaps i should have at least finished the syllabus. but well. 3 chapters to go. i guess i'll be around to help out.
AND, you all please promise me something: even if she has an attitude problem (in your words), give the new teacher a chance. it will take some getting used to, but give it a shot. you never know, she might turn out to be good as well. and well, if you dont want to give her a chance, then at least for your own history grades, study the chapters. really. dont do anything stupid like rejecting all of history and not studying just cause you dont like the teacher. i dont want your history grades to go downhill from here ok? you must prove to the new teacher you're intelligent people. dont reject her lah. give her a chance. for my sake ok?
and for one thing. we all (me included) have to learn how to let go. sorry shazlin, but tomoro will be the last time in a long while i'll see you all. maybe i'll see you all on sat wherever your cheerleading is, but that's not a promise yet. let me see what happens first lah. need to settle into my new job first. i want to see you all happy to see me and not cry anymore when we have to part. because if i can promise one thing, i will meet you all again. that i CAN promise. :) so dont be depressed anymore 2/5, we're now friends more than anything, so i will not allow anyone of us to forget the other :)
so. let us all move on. i will be around. and i will pop by at random. so. :) let's look forward to seeing each other again instead of concentrating on me leaving ok :)
i know i have alot more to say ... but i'm hugging cucumber now so it's really hard to type. kendra lah. her fault. haha :P but well,
sharon: stop chopping things up...
deserie: stop crying. :P ice cream!!!
priscillia: stop being possessed. dispossess yourself. :P
shazlin: you also, stop crying. :P and i will always be bigger than you :P
juliana: dont bully the new teacher. eunyse: you also.
amanda: haha. i just remember you lah. dunno for what also. :P
angela: take care of that ankle.
daphne: t-i-double ger - er!
lailin: havent read the poem. but i will. BEFORE I SLEEP TONIGHT :P
kendra: dont spend so much money :P
ariane: go to school more often. :P
crystal: study hard for history :P because i guess re-tests dont come by often
jade: i remember your house! haha :P
dawn: finally found your blog! thanks! :)
Sandra: double scotch tape! haha. :P
ok cant really think of anything else to say to anyone else. eh the rest of you who i havent mentioned! its not that i love you less, it's just that i can't really think of anything else at this point of time. :)
k i'm going to go now. i love you 2/5. let's look forward and move on ok. gosh. that sounded like some NDP slogan. haha. oops :P
"i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly.
though it's not easy to tell you goodbye,
gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change,
and breakaway.
out of the darkness and into the sun
but i wont forget all the ones that i love
i gotta, take a risk, take a chance, make a change,
and breakaway."
shoulda woulda coulda means i'm outta time.
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