the sad truth is

that it's very difficult for me, when i'm faced with something i'm not happy about, to be honest with that person. it's like i really don't know firstly, why i'm irritated, and then secondly, how to, because we're friends and i believe there should be no bad blood between us, tell the other person about my discomfort. i'm beginning to think mebbe i'm just difficult to get along with. like why do i always have so much relationship problems when other people seem to get along fine? hmm. worth a ponder.

anyway. basically i think my beef this time is even harder to work out because i can't really do much about it. except, perhaps, in the extreme, hope they break up. for one thing, saying anything about their relationship, they get real defensive about it. i can't really deal with this sorta thing. it's like saying anything or not makes no diff. but saying sorta risks quite abit. like the whole friendship will go to waste. but then, we were close before, so then, is it alright for me to complain?

at the risk of sounding all bitter and selfish, i really think that even if they were worried it would affect me before, they havent made it easy. it's just me, i know. but when you're surrounded by couples all the time and you find yourself alone, how do you cope with that except hope there's someone single out there who i can hang out with. i'm just really feeling the brunt of the whole boyfriend over friend thing. but life goes on, so i shall not complain. i'll just move along and hope you catch up with me.

it's a complicated issue. it's making me desperate to be in a relationship, just to see why people everywhere around me are falling in love. ah well. i'm tired.

dont wanna rant anymore.

that's not lip service