birthday wishes and happy halloween
let's begin right at the start, where it all begin, right before the day unfolded itself and ended about half an hour ago.
sat was a drag, though i tried very hard to make full use of it. it was difficult though, because my mood was just horrible. in general i get like that before my birthdays, because i dont know how to feel about it. it's supposed to be special but it feels like an average ordinary day. but i left the house with some kinda costume in tow, unsure of whether we were celebrating my birthday or just going to a halloween party.
japanese seemed to be the theme this year, coz that was most of what i ate. the jap restaurant at siglap, i think, is going to become my next favourite place. apart from the manhattan fish market of course, which i'll get back to later. anyway, jeane and i went for dinner there and i had alot of fun. jeane asked me why i was so quiet in general when i hung out with her, something which i realised and wasnt sure if i should be worried about. but it was never uncomfortable i guess, cept for that one time we went to see the doc, and i was being an emo ass. so we prayed and thanked God for comfortable silences. i'm glad i dont have to always talk to her to keep myself entertained. she thought i thought she was boring, but that's NOT TRUE. she's far from boring, which i think you can discern from everything i've written so far. i dont really know you know, everything's just so different with jeane. ah well.
anyway, we had dinner and then went to zouk coz it was halloween and there was a party going on. plus the dollies were gonna be there so i decided i'd go and make myself available to help. it aint easy, to be in a place where you're not naturally comfortable. and i guess it didnt help that jeane's boyfriend was there too, and i didnt really talk much and the line was super long. i saw the dollies, and in the spur of the moment, followed the entourage in and got into zouk for free. :) for some reason though, all i could think about was drinking. waited for jeane and co to get in, so that we could get the party started. zouk is always packed during halloween, so i got kinda squashed and it wasnt too comfortable. anyway, we got our jug of vodka lime soda (which is interesting and i like it, though i'm hoping to find out what JD and coke tastes like.) and we were just drinking, but the music was crapping out us 2 ghetto chicks so we went to phuture, which was worse. thank goodness there was something called "members only" and it so happens jeane's bf and friend were members, so we went right into the not so crowded section.
i met this cross dressing guy who was in a chun-li costume, and the moment he saw me, he went: "brokeback mountain! ooh, i like!! let's take picture, let's take picture!" and thus, i took a pictured with the very nicely dressed chun li. :) i was quite lost and overwhelmed, but haha, it was fun. then we saw a green fur wearing pimp, a guy in a towel and shower cap, B1 and B2 from bananas in pyjamas, PAP leaders, Dominatrixes, a member of the English guard (think fergie's london bridge. you know, the red jackets and black furry hats? yup.), many vampires, LEGO man, super mario, Bob the Builder, batman, spiderman, slash (or someboday) from the band KISS, a girl walking around in a shower curtain and a whole swat team. there was alot more, but these were the ones i remembered.
and here i was, not sure if i was micheal jackson, brokeback mountain or a catholic school dropout. either way, i felt kinda boring next to everyone else. but i had fun just looking at all the stuff people were wearing, and i came to the conclusion i suppose people DO HAVE A LIFE in Singapore. but i was drinking kinda quick too, and i got a little tipsy i guess. didnt help that that i felt like drinking was the only way to distract me from the fact that i felt kinda alone and lost in the large crowd that was zouk. i dont know. i was simultaneously enjoying myself and feeling kinda out of it. so i dont know what to say. i had fun, and yeah, it was a hell of a good time, but it was bittersweet. cant ask for more though, coz i wasnt sure what else to ask for.
anyway, was kinda wasted, so i skipped church this morning. i'm really sleepy actually, but i want to write all of this down, so i dont forget it. anyway, we went to manhattan fish market right, and it felt a little like people were just there coz they felt bad about not coming for lunch with me because it was my birthday, but i guess people had fun, so it's all good. i reflected that one of the reasons why i LOVE manhattan fish market is coz i seem to have been there with all the important people in my life. even my parents and bro have been there with me. and so i've got really sweet memories about that place that have all happenend in the span of this one year. that place, i hope, never changes. i've got too many good memories of that place.
guess theme of this year really was bittersweet. it was simple, sincere at most points, at times disappointing (it rained when i got up and i was kinda irritated and moody), at times lonely, at times feeling blessed. i dont really know what to say about this birthday. i feel blessed and the opposite of blessed at the same time. i'm just really confused lah.
but all in all, having said all that, the birthday was good. i mean, i wont ask for more, because i dont really know how much more i want. ah well. in life, as they say, we all move along.
wished i wasnt so emotional and paranoid so that i could have enjoyed it more.
liting, signing off.
strumming my pain with his fingers.
let's begin right at the start, where it all begin, right before the day unfolded itself and ended about half an hour ago.
sat was a drag, though i tried very hard to make full use of it. it was difficult though, because my mood was just horrible. in general i get like that before my birthdays, because i dont know how to feel about it. it's supposed to be special but it feels like an average ordinary day. but i left the house with some kinda costume in tow, unsure of whether we were celebrating my birthday or just going to a halloween party.
japanese seemed to be the theme this year, coz that was most of what i ate. the jap restaurant at siglap, i think, is going to become my next favourite place. apart from the manhattan fish market of course, which i'll get back to later. anyway, jeane and i went for dinner there and i had alot of fun. jeane asked me why i was so quiet in general when i hung out with her, something which i realised and wasnt sure if i should be worried about. but it was never uncomfortable i guess, cept for that one time we went to see the doc, and i was being an emo ass. so we prayed and thanked God for comfortable silences. i'm glad i dont have to always talk to her to keep myself entertained. she thought i thought she was boring, but that's NOT TRUE. she's far from boring, which i think you can discern from everything i've written so far. i dont really know you know, everything's just so different with jeane. ah well.
anyway, we had dinner and then went to zouk coz it was halloween and there was a party going on. plus the dollies were gonna be there so i decided i'd go and make myself available to help. it aint easy, to be in a place where you're not naturally comfortable. and i guess it didnt help that jeane's boyfriend was there too, and i didnt really talk much and the line was super long. i saw the dollies, and in the spur of the moment, followed the entourage in and got into zouk for free. :) for some reason though, all i could think about was drinking. waited for jeane and co to get in, so that we could get the party started. zouk is always packed during halloween, so i got kinda squashed and it wasnt too comfortable. anyway, we got our jug of vodka lime soda (which is interesting and i like it, though i'm hoping to find out what JD and coke tastes like.) and we were just drinking, but the music was crapping out us 2 ghetto chicks so we went to phuture, which was worse. thank goodness there was something called "members only" and it so happens jeane's bf and friend were members, so we went right into the not so crowded section.
i met this cross dressing guy who was in a chun-li costume, and the moment he saw me, he went: "brokeback mountain! ooh, i like!! let's take picture, let's take picture!" and thus, i took a pictured with the very nicely dressed chun li. :) i was quite lost and overwhelmed, but haha, it was fun. then we saw a green fur wearing pimp, a guy in a towel and shower cap, B1 and B2 from bananas in pyjamas, PAP leaders, Dominatrixes, a member of the English guard (think fergie's london bridge. you know, the red jackets and black furry hats? yup.), many vampires, LEGO man, super mario, Bob the Builder, batman, spiderman, slash (or someboday) from the band KISS, a girl walking around in a shower curtain and a whole swat team. there was alot more, but these were the ones i remembered.
and here i was, not sure if i was micheal jackson, brokeback mountain or a catholic school dropout. either way, i felt kinda boring next to everyone else. but i had fun just looking at all the stuff people were wearing, and i came to the conclusion i suppose people DO HAVE A LIFE in Singapore. but i was drinking kinda quick too, and i got a little tipsy i guess. didnt help that that i felt like drinking was the only way to distract me from the fact that i felt kinda alone and lost in the large crowd that was zouk. i dont know. i was simultaneously enjoying myself and feeling kinda out of it. so i dont know what to say. i had fun, and yeah, it was a hell of a good time, but it was bittersweet. cant ask for more though, coz i wasnt sure what else to ask for.
anyway, was kinda wasted, so i skipped church this morning. i'm really sleepy actually, but i want to write all of this down, so i dont forget it. anyway, we went to manhattan fish market right, and it felt a little like people were just there coz they felt bad about not coming for lunch with me because it was my birthday, but i guess people had fun, so it's all good. i reflected that one of the reasons why i LOVE manhattan fish market is coz i seem to have been there with all the important people in my life. even my parents and bro have been there with me. and so i've got really sweet memories about that place that have all happenend in the span of this one year. that place, i hope, never changes. i've got too many good memories of that place.
guess theme of this year really was bittersweet. it was simple, sincere at most points, at times disappointing (it rained when i got up and i was kinda irritated and moody), at times lonely, at times feeling blessed. i dont really know what to say about this birthday. i feel blessed and the opposite of blessed at the same time. i'm just really confused lah.
but all in all, having said all that, the birthday was good. i mean, i wont ask for more, because i dont really know how much more i want. ah well. in life, as they say, we all move along.
wished i wasnt so emotional and paranoid so that i could have enjoyed it more.
liting, signing off.
strumming my pain with his fingers.
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