the road is long

it's been a long time since i've felt this way: and the anticipation kills me as each moment passes. perhaps i am worried that i will forget this attraction, this feeling that makes me all bubbly and strange inside, a euphoric sense of overwhelming emotion, and this is only the anticipation.

i have my fears and doubts though. i think ever so often you let yourself slip away from reality and into the idea that it could happen, only to see yourself fall down hard when you realise it aint gonna happen. but i overstep myself. the world in which we inhabit is limitless, and in this i find that fascinating feeling of finding yourself in relation to someone new, the forming of a new, previously unknown identity. i like that. i like that there's a morphability (is that even a word) in that world; in that moment i feel powerful and the confidence i hardly find comes knocking on my door.

i am wax lyrical-ing about something that isn't even in existence yet. you dont need to say it. i know i'm shameless.

but one cannot help but hope that it could happen. cannot help but wait because it's the damned exams and anything you want to happen must wait 3 weeks.

i fear the wait will kill me.

dreaming of things so impossible