sometimes late at night

it's abt 1230 am now. if it's late or early i do not know. all i know is that i gave up talking to you. we talked fro awhile already. 'tis enough. yet then again i miss you. already. why? i dont understand. you musnt be a distraction anymore. and you know what? you aren't. anymore at least. believe me believing in myself. i'm not letting you distract me anymore. in fact i realised today how much less shy i am around you now. that makes me happy. even if we dont remember each other in the distant future, i will look back and be happy: coz i know you and you knew me.

i remember michL talking abt suicide and depression the other time. a few of us gathered at the table doing something mundane, and talking (ironically) abt PW. 90% of the time, suicide cases are attention seeking. the real ones who might commit suicide for real often go off quietly. today this fact was manifested. thing is i dunno if it was a suicide attempt. i hope not. i hope that she's just sick. HOPE. the thing that keeps most of us all alive. i hope our hopes keep YOU alive.

somebody's in hospital and we dunno why. hasnt been herself. pray that she's fine. hopefully.

ever wondered how it feels like to want to genuinely cry but you couldnt? i am getting that nowadays. i wanted to cry today. so much so i nearly cried coz i cldnt cry. that didnt make sense but you catch my drift. ah well. when you see me cry, dont sympathize with me. congratulate me on my achievement.

off to europe to meet Cavour, Garibaldi and the pple of europe. night.

i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly