if i lay here.
today i came to the conclusion that i want to form a band, and it shall be called 'PAPERBACK NOVEL'. no particular reason, i just thought the ring of the name was nice. it's like, also almost as if the band's under-rated, because you know how hardcovers kinda sell better than paperbacks? but paperbacks are cool. they are handier, and weigh much less, but it's still the same as your hardcover-ed counterparts.
setting up internet on my mac is HELL. i have given up and am currently using some body's network called 'default'. haha.
anyway.
i've been bumping into some old friends from secondary school these past few days in NUS, people i havent seen or spoken to in 2 years, maybe even more. it felt strangely warm, yet strangely awkward at the same time. when you've never really established a connection before, do you really want to try and push for a sense of familiarity when you've once again 're-united'? i realized that unlike many other people, those who have become my 'secondary school friends' that i still know now were never from my class. maybe i was intimidated by them? like, they all seemed like very very smart people and it was unnerving to be with them? i've always felt a little inferior to people around me, which is the driving force to work harder, and therefore, in itself a blessing because i have managed to do pretty well by my standards. but the ultimate backlash is not having a secondary school life that i can look back on and reminisce adequately.
my main fear of course, is whether it seems insincere on my part to say hello to them, when i know that i am TOTALLY sincere in saying hi and trying to establish a connection.
when people say 'i miss KC.' i tend to agree. but in my head i think about it, and all i can say is, i dont. i dont miss the school, i dont miss my KC days. but here's the twist. what i do miss is the people who have become an important part of my life, the people who i call family, and the people a real connection has been made with. i do miss the talking, the deep conversations, and the being there for each other.
thinking back, i never really made an effort with my sec 4 class. i know in JC i did. but with 4/7, i never really bothered. the question remains, am i sorry for that.
and suddenly, the answer to that question becomes clear. No. i'm not sorry. because your past, your history defines your present, and if i had made an effort, i probably would never had made the effort in JC, which means i would have missed out on TSD all together. and i'd give the world not to miss it.
ok. i have been thinking back to JC life too much. time to move on.
i'm going to miss stinky. (i love you babe :P)
sigh.
waking up dead inside of my head.
today i came to the conclusion that i want to form a band, and it shall be called 'PAPERBACK NOVEL'. no particular reason, i just thought the ring of the name was nice. it's like, also almost as if the band's under-rated, because you know how hardcovers kinda sell better than paperbacks? but paperbacks are cool. they are handier, and weigh much less, but it's still the same as your hardcover-ed counterparts.
setting up internet on my mac is HELL. i have given up and am currently using some body's network called 'default'. haha.
anyway.
i've been bumping into some old friends from secondary school these past few days in NUS, people i havent seen or spoken to in 2 years, maybe even more. it felt strangely warm, yet strangely awkward at the same time. when you've never really established a connection before, do you really want to try and push for a sense of familiarity when you've once again 're-united'? i realized that unlike many other people, those who have become my 'secondary school friends' that i still know now were never from my class. maybe i was intimidated by them? like, they all seemed like very very smart people and it was unnerving to be with them? i've always felt a little inferior to people around me, which is the driving force to work harder, and therefore, in itself a blessing because i have managed to do pretty well by my standards. but the ultimate backlash is not having a secondary school life that i can look back on and reminisce adequately.
my main fear of course, is whether it seems insincere on my part to say hello to them, when i know that i am TOTALLY sincere in saying hi and trying to establish a connection.
when people say 'i miss KC.' i tend to agree. but in my head i think about it, and all i can say is, i dont. i dont miss the school, i dont miss my KC days. but here's the twist. what i do miss is the people who have become an important part of my life, the people who i call family, and the people a real connection has been made with. i do miss the talking, the deep conversations, and the being there for each other.
thinking back, i never really made an effort with my sec 4 class. i know in JC i did. but with 4/7, i never really bothered. the question remains, am i sorry for that.
and suddenly, the answer to that question becomes clear. No. i'm not sorry. because your past, your history defines your present, and if i had made an effort, i probably would never had made the effort in JC, which means i would have missed out on TSD all together. and i'd give the world not to miss it.
ok. i have been thinking back to JC life too much. time to move on.
i'm going to miss stinky. (i love you babe :P)
sigh.
waking up dead inside of my head.
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