built to last

at least, i hope.

i am unable to be real with myself sometimes, and the consequences of those instances seem to replay over and over again like a record on an unstoppable record player. I will not elaborate, much, but it's also because i'm prone to being vague and ambiguous in blog posts. i want to say it though: when life becomes a cycle, you either stay oblivious or get off of it.

but nobody is going to jump off anything at this moment, because sometimes you want to return to the oblivious state in the form of a soft sink-your-butt-into-me sofa. but i'm almost hitting the ground and it scares me.

I have 2 days to decided whether or not to drop a module and free up sometime before the grade becomes an F. and i CANNOT have an F, solely because it will affect my grades and job prospects and yadayadayada for all my life and i'm typically singaporean and therefore worried about that.

and things in the personal life arena are taking a downturn (HORRORS). and all because i'm a selective optimist, believing that i can make things work when i want them to. I'm still holding on, wondering if you'll stay awake for me, cause i really don't wanna miss anything. i've had too much to handle and i get grouchy, so i hope you forgive me for taking it out on you. I REALLY don't mean it. it's just me, sometimes the work and the world get too much to bear and i feel like you're not there even when you are, so please, just bear with me until all of this tides over. i love you.

ok. now for some general waste time destressing.

1. My ex is: when the dinner bill comes up to above $20 per person and i'm paying.

2. Maybe i should: drop german? i don't know!

3. I love: God (i must be honest this didnt come to mind first.), you, my guitar, theatre, brecht and acoustic-y emo stuff.

4. I don’t understand: why we dont always get along, cant always be there for each other and Grant Shen.

5. I lose: most of the time, but in my heart i tell myself i'm a winner.

6. People say i’m: too nice for my own good.

7. Love is: that damned thing that i'm in right now.

8. Somewhere, someone is: wearing furry boots in Singapore's eternal summer.

9. I will always: be doing FOH? (NO!!!!!)

10. Forever is: a very very long time.

11. I never want to: hurt someone so bad that they never forgive me.

12. I think the current US president: is a short redneck with a guitar singing country roads.

13. When I wake up in the morning: I check that my heart is still beating and then proceed to wonder if i should be thankful or resentful.

14. My past was: a chapter that i've closed and would like to keep it that way, thank you.

15. I get annoyed when: i haven't a clue what is going on.

16. Parties are for: getting as much dancin down as possible.

17. My dog is: Wishbone, whom i've shamelessly adopted.

18. My cat is: nowhere in my future.

19. Kisses are the best when: they're from you.

20. Tomorrow: tomorrow, i love ya tomorrow, you're only a day away.

21. I really want: an epiphone les paul and my own jamming studio.

22. I have low tolerance for people who: do things that aversely affect other people.


Part 1: On The Outside
Name: Tan Liting Rebekah
D.O.B: 29th October 87
Current Status: burning out.
Hair Colour: black.
Righty Or Lefty: Righty.
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio.

Part 2 : On The Inside
Your heritage: would like to say african american, but i'm yellow mungen all the way.
Your fears: losing my love, disappointment and death.
Your weakness: emo songs, procrastinating, the rubiks cube and my guitar.

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts 1st waking up: I am still alive.
Your Bedtime: generally more than 2 hours after i get home.
Your most missed memory: TSD. and performing with jeane.

Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi Or Coke: COKE. hello, pepsi tastes like cough syrup.
MacDonald's Or Burger King: Carl's Junior.
Single Or Group Dates: both. but more of the single ones.
Adidas Or Nike: would have to say adidas. the 3 stripe superstar sneaker is a classic. plus i love how hip hop inspired the brand is.
Lipton Tea Or Nestea: Lipton, but generally there's no difference.
Chocolate Or Vanilla: Vanilla.
Cappucino or coffee: Latte, with a shot of caramel syrup. :D

Part 5: Do You?
Smoke: Occasionally.
Curse: I'm trying not to.
Drink: I love my beer. :D

Part 6: In the past month
Drank Alcohol: yes. Pint of erdinger weissbeir which was SO GOOD.
Gone to the mall: yes. well, kinda. i haven't gone shopping, if that's what you mean.
Been on stage: err. does backstage count?
Eaten Sushi: will do this properly tomoro. :)
Dyed hair: Nein.

Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: ... :P
Changed who you were to fit in: of course. was never happy.

Part 8: Age
You are hoping to be married: in amsterdam i suppose.

Part 9: In a Guy Or Girl
Best Guy Eye Colour: i dont really give a shit.
Hair colour: as long as you don't look like a golden monkey.
Short Or Long Hair: depends, really.

Part 10: What were you doing?
1 min ago: answering the first part of all this.
1 hour ago: emailing, i think.
1 mth ago: relacking more than now.
1 yr ago: enjoying myself at Film art and Acting. :)

Part 11: Finish the sentence.
Love: can be a many splendoured thing, can't deny the joy it brings.
Feels: just like it should!
Miss: Sukey Tawdry! look out, miss lotte lenya, and old lucy brown.
Hate: that i love you, so.
Need: to sleep soon.