i am not smart


am loving this website: www.postsecret.com which is where this is from.

anyway. boring day it has been, but i have made some progress on my perfect love song thing :) which is making me very happy and glad.

oh. and today i felt a little bit sad because i felt like i would one day run out of things to say to you and telling myself that silence can be comfortable was only to comfort myself. but it is ok. i hold you in my arms and feel you breathing with me and i know i'm not just comforting myself. the silence is real, poignant, and i like it because it is filled. :)

i guess that's how i live, noise everywhere so i dont have to hear my own thoughts.

finished chekhov's The Cherry Orchard today and couldn't help but feel proud of myself for having finished it, and couldn't help but feel sad at it's message of obsolencence and being removed because it is old and of no use anymore. i fear such a message, because even though i am young one day i will be old, and then the question is what will happen to me then? will i become old, obsolete, and chopped down like the cherry trees in the orchard?

and when i become old and my brain slows down and i no longer give you useless bits of trivia, will you still love me?

i'm lost for words