i am aged beyond my years :P
2 nights. in a row. music blasting in my ears, pple all around me singing, dancing, screaming. ha. it is tiring. :P i am beat. i did it again. jump jump jump jump jump sing sing sing sing sing hop hop hop hop hop. cept this time there was also: pray pray pray pray pray. :D yes. i just came back from worship night. yes. it was an experience. yes. i cried. :) but i am happy. burden's off my shoulder. i left it at the foot of the cross. literally. :) i am happy again. thanx to all of you pple out there who cared enough to send me bible verses, encourage me and the person who told me to read pslams 1- 6: it helped. ALOT. thanx :)
my encounter was brief. but it left me with a few impressions which i will attempt to share:
1. i need to tell.
2. that person's name appeared in my train of thought while i was praying.
3. i must know exactly what i am doing before i jump. (yes corrie i got the message)
4. that person needs/ needs not know. i need to figure that out. but whatever happens there's a lot at stake, and i have faith He'll see me through.
5. all that is not right will be removed in faith. He is the Creator of all after all. if there's anyone with control it's him.
for one thing i was quite sad when most of the pple i invited cldnt make it. but i knew and i understood that sometimes things like this cant be helped. there's always another time. maybe next time lah pple who didnt make it. :) i guess in a weird sort of way it was good that i didnt have to cry in front of you. :) you can continue to think of me as a happy person :P
did i mention that conan is brilliant? i read his iceman essay today. then i read mine. i wanted to jump out of my 6 storey flat. he writes good stuff. it's just brilliant. i never thought of alot of what he said. :) and did i mention his stage directions are as meticulous as O'neill? our group script had O'neill like directions. he is simply BRILLIANT. :)
anyway. i watched a movie this morning: Das Experiment. it is a german film abt 20 men. they voluntarily step forward to take part in an experiment in which they role play 2 weeks in a make shift prison. 8 of these men were the wardens, and the other 12 were the prisoners. first of all: this movie is scary. the wardens start to go a little berserk. at first there is no authority. then authority is soon established thru humiliation, and then slowly thru violence, scare tactics and torture. and all for the sake of money. 4000 marks so e exact. it is amazing what pple with seemingly unlimited authority would do. no. 77, the protagonist of the film was a rebel who went all out against the wardens. he's quite cute. (that's not the point :P) point is they ambushed him in the middle of the night, duct taping his mouth and legs, then they carry him to another part of the prison compound without surveillance cameras and beat him up as he's taped to a chair. they shave his head and then piss on him. all because he was 'out of line' with one of the warders (who's mad in my opinion btw.) this is a crazy thing lah. pple in authority can do almost anything they want and get away with it. makes me wonder why pple are still given positions which they are likely to abuse. if i had that kinda power, would i use it to the utmost? if i was subjected to that kinda power, would i be able to take it? for the latter, no. for the former: guess what. YES. i realise how human i am. if i have the power i would use force to get what i want and to get pple to listen. it's there for you to use. just use it. ok maybe i'm just screwed up in my brain. :P
power corrupts. i believe in that. that's the reason why i'm happy with who i am today. :) i cant imagine what i might be if i had unlimited power. i know: a t-rex. :P hehe
bah humbug. :) i am tired. good night dawg. :D
i cant breathe easy
2 nights. in a row. music blasting in my ears, pple all around me singing, dancing, screaming. ha. it is tiring. :P i am beat. i did it again. jump jump jump jump jump sing sing sing sing sing hop hop hop hop hop. cept this time there was also: pray pray pray pray pray. :D yes. i just came back from worship night. yes. it was an experience. yes. i cried. :) but i am happy. burden's off my shoulder. i left it at the foot of the cross. literally. :) i am happy again. thanx to all of you pple out there who cared enough to send me bible verses, encourage me and the person who told me to read pslams 1- 6: it helped. ALOT. thanx :)
my encounter was brief. but it left me with a few impressions which i will attempt to share:
1. i need to tell.
2. that person's name appeared in my train of thought while i was praying.
3. i must know exactly what i am doing before i jump. (yes corrie i got the message)
4. that person needs/ needs not know. i need to figure that out. but whatever happens there's a lot at stake, and i have faith He'll see me through.
5. all that is not right will be removed in faith. He is the Creator of all after all. if there's anyone with control it's him.
for one thing i was quite sad when most of the pple i invited cldnt make it. but i knew and i understood that sometimes things like this cant be helped. there's always another time. maybe next time lah pple who didnt make it. :) i guess in a weird sort of way it was good that i didnt have to cry in front of you. :) you can continue to think of me as a happy person :P
did i mention that conan is brilliant? i read his iceman essay today. then i read mine. i wanted to jump out of my 6 storey flat. he writes good stuff. it's just brilliant. i never thought of alot of what he said. :) and did i mention his stage directions are as meticulous as O'neill? our group script had O'neill like directions. he is simply BRILLIANT. :)
anyway. i watched a movie this morning: Das Experiment. it is a german film abt 20 men. they voluntarily step forward to take part in an experiment in which they role play 2 weeks in a make shift prison. 8 of these men were the wardens, and the other 12 were the prisoners. first of all: this movie is scary. the wardens start to go a little berserk. at first there is no authority. then authority is soon established thru humiliation, and then slowly thru violence, scare tactics and torture. and all for the sake of money. 4000 marks so e exact. it is amazing what pple with seemingly unlimited authority would do. no. 77, the protagonist of the film was a rebel who went all out against the wardens. he's quite cute. (that's not the point :P) point is they ambushed him in the middle of the night, duct taping his mouth and legs, then they carry him to another part of the prison compound without surveillance cameras and beat him up as he's taped to a chair. they shave his head and then piss on him. all because he was 'out of line' with one of the warders (who's mad in my opinion btw.) this is a crazy thing lah. pple in authority can do almost anything they want and get away with it. makes me wonder why pple are still given positions which they are likely to abuse. if i had that kinda power, would i use it to the utmost? if i was subjected to that kinda power, would i be able to take it? for the latter, no. for the former: guess what. YES. i realise how human i am. if i have the power i would use force to get what i want and to get pple to listen. it's there for you to use. just use it. ok maybe i'm just screwed up in my brain. :P
power corrupts. i believe in that. that's the reason why i'm happy with who i am today. :) i cant imagine what i might be if i had unlimited power. i know: a t-rex. :P hehe
bah humbug. :) i am tired. good night dawg. :D
i cant breathe easy
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home