it's gotta be said and done.

i'm kinda tired to posting depressive posts so this shall just be a low post. not a depressive one. been an eventful week since my birthday. chinese tomoro and i can only say i am as prepared for it as i usually am for every other test. i believe passing aint the problem. it's the grade i'm worried about. B4. at the best. C5 at the worst. SHOULD be can one. :)

i am blogging today because i have things i need to say but i cant bring myself to say it to your face. yes this is to you. no not YOU you but you. the one who showed up at my party. YOU know who you are lah. ok to make it more clear, not the usual You i refer to on my blog.

You:
i dont have much to say. i guess it just felt weird suddenly seeing you so much suddenly. it was just, a big blur. pool on wed, seeing you on monday night, the hug, the talks ... everything. just so unreal. i guess in a sorta way i thought i was ready. until you kinda 'jumped' on me at the airport and hugged me. it felt ... strange ... holding you in my arms again. i didnt exactly feel the warmth or peace that usually comes with a hug so long. i mean, i hugged nadia on wed for the same amount of time and i actually felt much more at ease. i am trying not to be brutal here because you dont deserve it. but i only have one solid thing to say lah. it's all in this song.

Leave Right now - Will Young

I'm here, just like I said,
Though it's breaking every rule I've ever made.
My racing heart, is just the same,
Why make it strong to break it once again?

And I'd love to say I do,
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true.
So I say,

I think I better leave right now,
Before I fall any deeper.
I think I better leave right now,
I'm feeling weaker and weaker.
Somebody better show me how,
Before I fall any deeper.
I think I better leave right now.

I'm here, so please explain,
Why you're opening up a healing wound again?
I'm a little more careful, perhaps it shows.
But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows.

And I would tremble in your arms,
What could be the harm?
To feel my spirit calm.
So i say,

I think I better leave right now,
Before I fall any deeper.
I think I better leave right now,
I'm feeling weaker and weaker.
Somebody better show me how,
Before I fall any deeper.
I think I better leave right now.

I wouldnt know how to say,
How good it feels seeing you today.
I see you've got your smile back,
Like you say you're right on track.

But, you may never know why.
Once bitten, twice is shy.
If I'm proud, at least I should explain;
I couldnt bear to lose you again.

yeah. i hope you understand. the only thing i can say is sorry. i guess we're not ready.

in love, hope, trust. don henley's playing on my comp now. this playlist is too painful.

there's a danger in loving somebody too much.