a public announcement of new sorts.
no there are no more parties at least til the end of this year. this is a 'attention-seeking' announcement. i guess at this point in time i really need some of it. dont ask me why, just read on.
i went to the doctor's today. the announcement is this: i am going for another operation. my right knee is pretty badly damaged. time for corrective surgery. i don't know when i'm going in for the op, but i am guessing at the earliest it's june, and the latest, december 2005. i cant imagine going into 2006 with a plaster cast. but well.
now. the reason why i am feeling so grave about this is: 1) i have a fear of hospitals, which was caused by losing a close friend and literally watching her die and finding myself suddenly alone in the office, and having to face things i didnt want to. not that i might die during the op, just that i dont like hospitals. the next thing is: 2) my GREATEST, absolutely GREATEST fear is immobility and disability. i cannot fathom the idea that i cant do even basic things by myself. that simple things like going to the toilet and moving from point A to point B become so complicated and cannot be accomplished alone. i mean, i dont have much, but i have my legs and the ability to do stuff myself. i have some pride. i cannot imagine that being stripped away from me. where will i find self respect to carry on?
the good news is, all these fears will be shortlived. but i know it's still going to haunt me. so please, pray for me. i really need strength to carry everything through this coming year.
anyway, i was at the doctor's today and i was reading about the tsunamis in the straits times. firstly, i was really overwhelmed by what i was reading in the papers; the no.s of casualties, the destruction, the death ... i was moved to tears as i watched all these kids next to me with injuries or disabilities of all sorts ... (in case you dont know, for some reason, i'm still a child at the hospital i go to) so i was essentially wailing in the middle of a VERY crowded waiting area. and i reflected on the situation and i came up with this conclusion: that singaporeans around the island shld give thanx to the Lord that sumatra is in front of us from the epicenter. if not, VJ will be the first one to go.
the death toll is rising. i must do something about it.
shall find an opportunity to help the relief effort. meanwhile, i'm very tired. good night.
it's easy when you've got each other.
no there are no more parties at least til the end of this year. this is a 'attention-seeking' announcement. i guess at this point in time i really need some of it. dont ask me why, just read on.
i went to the doctor's today. the announcement is this: i am going for another operation. my right knee is pretty badly damaged. time for corrective surgery. i don't know when i'm going in for the op, but i am guessing at the earliest it's june, and the latest, december 2005. i cant imagine going into 2006 with a plaster cast. but well.
now. the reason why i am feeling so grave about this is: 1) i have a fear of hospitals, which was caused by losing a close friend and literally watching her die and finding myself suddenly alone in the office, and having to face things i didnt want to. not that i might die during the op, just that i dont like hospitals. the next thing is: 2) my GREATEST, absolutely GREATEST fear is immobility and disability. i cannot fathom the idea that i cant do even basic things by myself. that simple things like going to the toilet and moving from point A to point B become so complicated and cannot be accomplished alone. i mean, i dont have much, but i have my legs and the ability to do stuff myself. i have some pride. i cannot imagine that being stripped away from me. where will i find self respect to carry on?
the good news is, all these fears will be shortlived. but i know it's still going to haunt me. so please, pray for me. i really need strength to carry everything through this coming year.
anyway, i was at the doctor's today and i was reading about the tsunamis in the straits times. firstly, i was really overwhelmed by what i was reading in the papers; the no.s of casualties, the destruction, the death ... i was moved to tears as i watched all these kids next to me with injuries or disabilities of all sorts ... (in case you dont know, for some reason, i'm still a child at the hospital i go to) so i was essentially wailing in the middle of a VERY crowded waiting area. and i reflected on the situation and i came up with this conclusion: that singaporeans around the island shld give thanx to the Lord that sumatra is in front of us from the epicenter. if not, VJ will be the first one to go.
the death toll is rising. i must do something about it.
shall find an opportunity to help the relief effort. meanwhile, i'm very tired. good night.
it's easy when you've got each other.
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