this might take awhile.
another wasted weekend has come and gone. i slept today away, and well, trying to read and do my mountain of m4m essays is just shit boring. and i'm on medication, which makes me drowsy. so therefore, i have slept weekend away.
well. what's new? i'm still surviving. i think i might start my essay. soon.
anyway, just thought i might share something:
i turned up for the last half an hour of CG today, and you know that's no big achievement, but heck, who cares?. anyway. calvin was leading lesson and he gave me this sheet of paper. it was entitled 'Life Signs' and here's what it said:
Spend some time thinking about your lives in terms of traffic signs.
1. If you were to select a traffic sign to tell how you've been seeking to live your life, what sign would it be?
of the 8 options, i ticked
'UNDER CONSTRUCTION' - because i'm changing so much.
why? because i am going through alot of emotional change now, both characterwise and physically. which explains (or mebbe not) why i feel a little more withdrawn from people. i think i'm at that point in my life, (where i was last year) where i just need to get right. to get right, and intuned with myself. where i want to progress and not stagnate in my spiritual life. but i dont want others to help me get there. i'm not being stubborn. but i've relied too much on other people's spirituality that i've not found my own. i want to start anew. somewhere else. honestly, i want to leave and go somewhere else. mebbe then it'll be easier to grow.
2. what sign are you displaying in your relationship with others?
of the 6 options, i ticked
'OPEN 24 HOURS' - because i'm always available to others.
why? hmm. i dunno. i think i am. you guys should know better.
3. if God were to give you a traffic ticket right now for how you are living your life, what would it be for?
of the 5 options, i ticked
'DRIVING THE WRONG WAY ON A ONE WAY STREET' - i need to turn my life around.
at the risk of sounding like i'm blaming everyone and everything, i think VJ and the new routine has seriously screwed up my spiritual life. i say the routine is new because it is different from what i had before i came to VJ. i think i've compromised alot of myself. and i've compromised alot of God for othr unimportant things. i managed to curse less before i came to VJ, but now i'm back to cursing alot too. i managed to somewhat keep myself in check and away from liking people, but many of you know i've fallen many times. for people. and my whole quiet time routine, my whole prayer life, my involvement in church, all completely screwed up. so. i need to turn around. i need to run back to God. i need to stop, turn and, well. hope He'll be there. so that my walk is not in vain.
in other words, i need some time with God and a mental vacation.
well on to other things.
i had a stroke of brilliance for a new sound piece on friday night after watching 'ray'. i am, at this point in time, in love with ray charles. :) i wanted to change my sound piece for I/S but well. hehe. i dont think i wanna give everyone a heart attack :P anyway, new sound piece is no longer for A levels. i am going to do it for fun. :) hehe.
ok you know what? i am going off now. :) buh bye.
sorry i'm not much for conversation
another wasted weekend has come and gone. i slept today away, and well, trying to read and do my mountain of m4m essays is just shit boring. and i'm on medication, which makes me drowsy. so therefore, i have slept weekend away.
well. what's new? i'm still surviving. i think i might start my essay. soon.
anyway, just thought i might share something:
i turned up for the last half an hour of CG today, and you know that's no big achievement, but heck, who cares?. anyway. calvin was leading lesson and he gave me this sheet of paper. it was entitled 'Life Signs' and here's what it said:
Spend some time thinking about your lives in terms of traffic signs.
1. If you were to select a traffic sign to tell how you've been seeking to live your life, what sign would it be?
of the 8 options, i ticked
'UNDER CONSTRUCTION' - because i'm changing so much.
why? because i am going through alot of emotional change now, both characterwise and physically. which explains (or mebbe not) why i feel a little more withdrawn from people. i think i'm at that point in my life, (where i was last year) where i just need to get right. to get right, and intuned with myself. where i want to progress and not stagnate in my spiritual life. but i dont want others to help me get there. i'm not being stubborn. but i've relied too much on other people's spirituality that i've not found my own. i want to start anew. somewhere else. honestly, i want to leave and go somewhere else. mebbe then it'll be easier to grow.
2. what sign are you displaying in your relationship with others?
of the 6 options, i ticked
'OPEN 24 HOURS' - because i'm always available to others.
why? hmm. i dunno. i think i am. you guys should know better.
3. if God were to give you a traffic ticket right now for how you are living your life, what would it be for?
of the 5 options, i ticked
'DRIVING THE WRONG WAY ON A ONE WAY STREET' - i need to turn my life around.
at the risk of sounding like i'm blaming everyone and everything, i think VJ and the new routine has seriously screwed up my spiritual life. i say the routine is new because it is different from what i had before i came to VJ. i think i've compromised alot of myself. and i've compromised alot of God for othr unimportant things. i managed to curse less before i came to VJ, but now i'm back to cursing alot too. i managed to somewhat keep myself in check and away from liking people, but many of you know i've fallen many times. for people. and my whole quiet time routine, my whole prayer life, my involvement in church, all completely screwed up. so. i need to turn around. i need to run back to God. i need to stop, turn and, well. hope He'll be there. so that my walk is not in vain.
in other words, i need some time with God and a mental vacation.
well on to other things.
i had a stroke of brilliance for a new sound piece on friday night after watching 'ray'. i am, at this point in time, in love with ray charles. :) i wanted to change my sound piece for I/S but well. hehe. i dont think i wanna give everyone a heart attack :P anyway, new sound piece is no longer for A levels. i am going to do it for fun. :) hehe.
ok you know what? i am going off now. :) buh bye.
sorry i'm not much for conversation
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