morning blogging in the office

on my way to work today my ipod played wonderful wonderful songs. one really hit me, but i can't remember what it was! grr. i want to put the lyrics up on my blog. because i remembered suddenly why i love music so much. the very essence (for me at least) is in the lyrics. and well, it doesnt take much. simple songs with very simple lyrics can touch me as much as songs with far out and abstract lyrics. but i have now, in the course of writing this, figured out what the song that touched me this morning was. (actually, i scrolled through my ipod and back tracked the songs i heard this morning. heh :P)

i suppose there's many types of family. people you love, know and want to spend time with. or people you just have no choice and by circumstance are stuck with (not necessarily a bad thing. depends on how you look at it.). even people you don't know, but are sorta connected to, linked in some sorta way. a family, to me, is a community. with layers. and the closest family are those at the innermost core, the ones closest to your hearts. the ones you will really care about. the ones who call, and you dont even have to think, you'll say: "i'll be there asap." the ones who you dont mind splurging on, or even doing things for them. the whole point of it all is that family, i think, at it's very best, makes you who you are. it makes you love, which gives you compassion to face other people. it gives you faith, and an ability to believe in yourself. it gives you support, so that you are strong enough to support others too. and it makes you feel like you matter, and in turn, they matter as much to you.

the painful part of it all is when a family splits up, whether by circumstance or by the choices that people make. it hurts the most, because it's the family that you open up the most to. but the saving grace is that, these 'temporary' families come and go, and when one closes, another one opens up. the point though, is that we cannot exist all based on the 'temps'; everyone needs permanence. and sometimes, you think a family is going to last for a long time, but it eventually will split up. people will go, people will come. the unit becomes parts, but the beauty, i think, is that period of time you shared with them. and also, the desire to want to stay together. i think that's the most important thing ever, because without it, the family wouldn't exist in the first place.

so i am grateful for the families that i have been a part of. because though some of the units may not exist anymore, i'm still in contact with some of the people. and all these individuals become that one true family that has become permanent, the true 'love(s) of my life'. i am incredibly blessed, yes. and just glad, that even though we don't always meet, when we do, it's a beautiful completion to something we began. so i refuse to think that man exists alone, and even though we have people around us, we're still basically alone (sorry rau, can't agree on that.). i believe alone is the time when you prepare yourself for the next time you will meet up and connect. and it's prep time, that only makes connecting with others all the more sweet.

i am contented. *grin

so here are the lyrics. might be bittersweet and possibly have nothing to do with what i just posted, but hey, it's a good song. :)

Ode To My Family - The Cranberries

Understand the things I say
Don't turn away from me
Cause I've spent half my life out there
You wouldn't disagree
Do you see me? Do you see?
Do you like me? Do you like me standing there?
Do you notice?Do you know?
Do you see me?Do you see me?
Does anyone care?

Unhappiness, was when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care

Understand what I've become
It wasn't my design
And people everywhere think
Something better than I am
But I miss you. I miss
'Cause I liked it. 'Cause I liked it
When I was out there
D'you know this, d'you know
You did not find me, you did not find
Does anyone care

Unhappiness was when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care

Does anyone care 

ok maybe the lyrics abit unsuitable. heh. but. nice song nonetheless. :P what the heck lah! haha. it still managed to spark off this very nice long reflective post.

LT the blogger is back. and with a vengeance. :)

bittersweet evocative song