in love with sad eyes.

i must be sure i say nothing abt them eyes. they are beautiful, but if you noticed, they look sad. really. i wonder if it's just the shape, or something in the past that we all want to forget. i want to know. if it's the latter that is. maybe it's just me. but i do think the eyes tell stories that pple want to hide. what has this person got to hide? i dunno.

in any case sad eyes just make it more interesting. the situation is getting a little out of hand. i spent the whole to today just thinking abt it. to tell, or not to tell. that is the question. what should i do? i have been thinking long and hard. and in my previous posts i sounded determined to tell. but ALOT is at stake. it's not just my relationship with that person. it's everyone else too. what if my sec 1 experience repeats itself? that's where my fear lies. in pple ostracising me. i fear they might ignore me.

is it an irrational fear? i've been spending the past few days thinking what pple thought abt me. i'm afraid of what pple view me as. i dont really care what pple who dont know me think, but i'm concerned abt what my friends think. is it wrong to be insecure? i know what some pple think abt me and it is indeed a wonderful thing to know some pple think positively abt me. (thanx man! :)) but what abt the pple who never told me? what abt THAT person?

i think i might sound a tad egoistic. i'm sorry. see what i mean? i say things and i worry about what it shows abt me. i find myself more often than not caught in the line between speaking my mind and trying to play the right cards. SOMETIMES i just dont feel like myself. i guess deep down we all have such a fear, that we may be misunderstood. i myself dunno what to do. haha. :P oh well. i guess it will all work out.

i still count my blessings. i do. really. :P

STINKY: hey girl. miss you loads. love you hun *muack* *long hug* :)
BAKA: i'm sorry i cldnt be there for you when your grandfather left. still love you hun. take care and God bless. *long hug*
NAN: hey. chio bu. miss you lah. take care k? i love you too. :P see you soon.

MEL LIM: hey babes! i know you read this so i just wanted to say: i love you! you're a blessing and it's been great getting to know you. dont miss your baby too much k?! :P *hug*
JENE: hey. :) nothing much, cept that we havent talked for some time and i realised how much i miss talking to you. i love you girl. as much as your 'nah ge' :P take care and God bless! *hug*

RAU: hey love sick puppy! :) thanx for the note. :P your note made me think abit. haha. will share when i have the time. i've said my 'i love you' already, but no harm saying again right? hehe. :P love ya hun. :) take care of thyself! *hug*
VANE: darling. :P hello man. i guess i just wanted to say that you can count on me if you ever need anything. i WILL always, whether you like it or not (hehe :P), be there for you. love you man. :P *hug*
RASHEZ: hey biatch :D i never expected i would say this, but deep down inside i realised: i love you! :P hehe. ok come down from your pedestal now. :P *hug* bloddy black bird! :P
ANA: hello my darling. :P miss you so much lah :) haha. for once when i say this i'm not kidding/sexed up/horny: i love you babes. :) guess i just wanted you to know. :) haha. remember our nightly rendezvous ok?! :P *hug*
DAWN: yo man! wassup?! :P when i do my periodical 'i love yous' i must include you what! haha. dont blame me for being mushy! :P so: love you dawn. :) yes i do. haha! take heart in that fact yeah?! *cheers* *hug* thanx for always being there to talk. haha. you make sense! :P
MICHELLE: ha. just a note to say hi. :) and that yes, my love extends to you as well. haha. :P even though i dont know you very well, and i dunno if i am in the position to say this, but, i love you babes. :P hehe. take care and God Bless. :)
CORRIE: hey man. i'm glad you're alright and nothing's wrong now. i must confess that i really thought you did try to kill yourself, and i'm sorry for having that little faith in you. but nonetheless, you will always be my lovely duo partner. love you babes. :P *hug*
BIMBO CRYSTAL: hey hey bimbo! :P nothing much lah, just wanted to say 'i love you!' haha. :P there i said it. *bows* long live princess crystal. :P
CALIN: nothing much either. just that miss you coz you havent been around. it was great seeing you today. :) haha. i love you. :P take care of thyself. all the best for As. :) *hug*
to everyone else i missed out: you mean alot to me too! just that ah, got no time! haha. i love all of you too! :P *Group Hug*

ok. that was a long periodical i love yous. :P haha. k i gotta go. for real.

all of you! i'm truly blessed to have known you. :)

good night! :)

love is a many splendoured thing