the weekly update: week 6 of NUS term

i havent been able to just si down and type this past week, hence the very dry and boring blog with no updates. but i realise that i always sorta find time to blog on that tues long breaks that i have, so haha, you'll have to be content with this then :)

yesterday, i saw my daddy after like, days of him leaving early and me coming back late. last week was crazy. the weekend was really madness. anyway. we were sitting around the dinner table talking, listening to my dad telling us about the Burkina Faso delegates he's been driving around. (for those of you overseas, the IMF is in town, everyone's smiling like some mad person and the suntec city area is dead. like, eerily quiet.) anyway. i loved it. last night, around the dinner table. we just talked, the whole family, the four of us sitting there. i almost went: i wished i could have more of this.

i never spend enough time just hanging out with my parents, and i suppose i can see now, the rationale behind not staying in hall on campus. i will miss my parents dearly, (not to mention my bed, my own shower and toilet, TV, Radio, all of the comforts of home. :P) and i'll probably not see them for months on end, until term break at least. i dont want to leave this comfort zone of family, and the comfort zone of a home that's irreplaceable. call me sheltered and cowardly, call me whatever you want. at the end of the day you'll be agreeing with me.

to be honest i dont really wanna be all by myself, all the time. though i've dealt with being alone with a sense of "poise and rationality" so far. (it's no longer a bother or an upsetting thing to be alone. be proud of me. :D) my family and friends outside of NUS are my support, the people i fall back on when i really need to fall. last night i realised the beauty of four people huddled at a table sharing a meal, a laugh and a great time. i want more of that, and i know exactly who i want to spend that time with. :)

the prospect of the parentals flying far far away to Dubai is scary. i know my mother's job hunting, and i know she's quite serious about it. but i'm not optimistic about how i'm going to spend the next 2 years by myself in Singapore, while the rest of the Family go to Dubai. it's all for a better life, i know, and looking on the bright side, i might get to live in Dubai for awhile. :) but it's a cold scary feeling. and i am a scared little kid.

anyway.

i've just come out form one of the greatest lows of my 19 years thus far, and the beauty is i feel great. :) never felt better. i mean, sure, there are times where i just feel jaded and lost, but i've really never felt any better. i'm embracing varsity life, and i'm living good. i feel like i have some kinda direction now, and i know, that at the end of it all i'll be coming out, alive, kicking and be a force to be reckoned with. watch out world, i'm waiting to fly. :)

so my band's not called PAPERBACK NOVEL. but what matters most now is that i HAVE a Band, and it's called IMPERFECT ORIGINAL. we perform in NUS on 27th September (those of you who are here better get your ass down to NUS on wed night. :P so far, the original samples i've sent out have been well recieved (or are they just biased?? :P) so i am confident enough to say it'll be worth your time well spent :) come come come ok! :)

anyway. i better be going now. i'm not drowning in work, but i'm dying. so. better get to it.

lying in the grasp of dusk and summer.