as the confusion invades. will there be someway out?

i am such a pool freak ... thnx calin for getting me hooked again ... haha ... so fun ... i beat Dong, Calin and Nigel ... haha ... dont ask me how ... but i did ... Calin and Nigel coz i was lucky lah ... haha ... so fun ... i loved the break i pulled when i played with dong ... damn chio ... nicest break ever ... :)

so it's one more IS exam ... like it's tomoro and it's Nigel's ... haha ... my shirts!!! ah!!!! *panic* ... please dont be stained ... i LOVE those shirts ... i want to wear them again ... argh ... *heart ache* ...

ok ... so i told someone else today again ... at least she keeps me in check ... i wonder what's the point of posting ... nobody reads it anyway ... haha ...

but i am so confused ... i really want to get to know this person better ... but what are my reasons? purely platonic or do i have an ulterior motive? am i just making things up in my mind? sighs ... i want to love again ... but i know this is wrong ... sighs ... so confused ...

i need to be with Him alone ... God i need You ... but do i need You for the right reasons? sighs ... i think i really need help ... maybe i should look rowenna up again ... and i dont think i'm ready to face michelle (the KCian) ... and i dont think it's time to meet up yet ... i may be backsliding ... sighs! help help!!!!

i need to feel again ... so numb after endless slots ... kinda makes me wonder what i should do for exams next year ... i dont think i'll put in enough work ... i hope i will ... i want to ... but JC life is so high stress ... and 2 weeks of my study break are gone ... i will miss my seniors after this man ... need to break free ...

just thought of a cool song ... Wish you were here by incubus ... i like this song ... yeah! :) haha ...

PJ girl if you read this ... i really miss you ... i dunno what i did ... but our friendship has gone thru alot ... it can go thru this ... pls dont turn your back on me ... not for fifa ... not for anything else unless i did something ... i may have changed ... but i'm not a worse off person ... i have feelings too and i am not a super human ... i may not be as confident as i used to be ... i was never confident enough to begin with ... and you always thought of my rantings as irritation ... but those were real ... i listened and will continue to ... as long as you want it to be that way ... i cant tell you straight ... you're always too busy for me ... so i'll just hang around the sides and be there when you need me ... no probs ...

Nicole ... i dont think you'll read this ... but i'll just say your Mask piece was ok ... it was in fact, to me, wonderful ... i would have never been able to speak to pym like that ... like brandon said ... it may not have gone the way it should ... but it was nonetheless still good ... as long as it brought glory to God it's alright ... trust Him ... all that happened happened for a reason ... He will not let you down ...

Cal: hey yo wassup? :) just wanted to say that today was fantastic ... i will miss crewing for you ... i will miss working with all the crew members ... regardless if she's there or not ... :P haha ... anyway ... i'm very inspired to do sound now ... i just hope i'll have good juniors next year ... sorry if we were shit sometimes ... but we pulled thru ... :) yeah!

ok ... i think i'm going ... oh wait ... one more person ...

Stinky: miss you babes even though i saw you only the other day ... want you to know i love you loads and i hope you're feeling less pain. pain is a mental state of suffering ... just leave it alone and it will be gone. i will be around if you need company ... just a phonecall away yeah ... :) *hugs*

ok ... now i go ... bye world ... i want to leave for good ...

come take me home