it's just me ... hold your applause please ...

i was just thinking abt how dangerous it is to be showing too much of yourself ... haha ... i should know ... i do that on a regular basis ... but that's just me ... haha ... anyway, i'm thinking: does the true self of somebody really turn pple off? i mean, i've met pple who just cant take it you know, seeing the real person ... i dunno ... haha ... i just cant accept it if someone is not theirselves in front of me ... i mean, i really hate to peel layers and get to the bottom of things ... maybe i just have too much expectations ...

i am feeling the insecure bug coming again ... it's been there all along lah, but i mean, it surfaces for air sometimes ... and i feel like it's coming up ... this time it's a fear of pple seeing me as weak ... haha ... i guess i am ... but i can be strong if i am willing to lie to myself ... i mean, it gets tiring if you keep putting up a strong front ... so i suppose you just encounter the thing that makes you weak, feel weak and let it pass ... hmm ... you could choose to do something abt it when you feel weak ... but what can you do? these are just my thoughts lah ... i suppose being weak can be some sort of a strength? what is weakness anyway? something the stong came up with to describe those who do not measure up ... that's what i think ... i dont think anybody's weak ... (unless you're dependant on somebody or something ... or you just dont do things for yourself to make wrongs right) pple can be strong when they want to ... fro me? i choose when and where to be strong lah ... i've never really classified myself as weak before, cause i kept thinking i'm not ... haha ... but in a sense i know i am ... i mean ... deeo inside of you you know there's things that make you weak ... i wonder if acknowledging you're weak is a strength ... haha ... that's kinda like an oxymoron ... haha ...

ok ... been immersing myself in books lately ... i spent the whole day studying today ... i really did study ... i mean ... it was better than my previous attempts lah ... tonight it's TSD ... can you imagine? just one night for TSD ... of course there's the night before the exam and the morning of the exam too ... haha ... TSD is in the afternoon! yeah ... that's good ... haha ... tomoro it's both lit texts ... sat is for history ... and sunday is the final stretch for econs ... haha ... :) yeah ... i want to take 3 subs! haha ... ok ok ... enough ...

they're playing a cool song on radio now ... here are the lyrics ...

"Accidentally In Love"
by Counting Crows

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love

Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love [x7]

Accidentally

I'm In Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
Accidentally [x2]

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her

Love ...I'm in love

i'm goin now ... haha ... M butt is my bedtime story tonight ... yeah! :)

unclench your fists and unpack your suitcase