let this narcolepsy slide

i think i've left this blog empty for a little too long. 3 weeks of hiatus because i just havent been in much of a mood to publicise my life and be all exhibitionist about the day to day details of my ever-so-exciting life.

but i'm taking time out. because i can and i want to.

so here i am, at a computer terminal somewhere in the grey walls of this school building wearing my favourite table-cloth shirt with 15 mins to kill. so blog i shall.

been thinking alot about how everything in school and my degree stuff will work out. right now i'm tired. i'm just really tired of all the things that i have to think about. i want to live like nothing matters and just move along, but i dont have that priviledge. i feel like i'm losing the ability to relax and just live. help. man. need to STOP thinking and just live.

which, in itself, comes with so many other questions to think about. like. what does "just live" really mean?

this is driving me slightly nuts. anyway.

so my best friend is in 2 semi finals of Singing competitions. to make myself alot clearer, she's in 2 singing competitions, at the semi final stages. i was at the quarter finals of the one held by the NUS science club people, yesterday at PS. and i tell you something, i have ALOT to say about how the competition was run.

firstly, the competition start 10 mins late because soundcheck was delayed. if you need to delay a competition, at least have the decency to provide an emcee who is AT LEAST competent to keep the crowd together. but NO. the emcee was some strange looking boy in a maroon shirt and trousers, who couldnt pronounce his 'TH' and was lame in all his "witty" comments. he talked too much. plus he made strange comments which left the crowd very confused at what he was trying to prove. for eg. he invited a contestant up on stage, no. S3. this is what his interview was like:

emcee: hello XXXX, contestant S3! how are you feeling?
S3: ok. maybe a bit nervous.
emcee: i see. not to worry. are you a student?
S3: yeah. (?)
emcee: oh! because you look very mature.

at which the crowd began to murmur as to what he meant. the poor girl, i think, she was insulted. and that wasnt the only trip up he made. he said so many other strange things. at one point i think he even tried to use a pick up line on one of the contestants.

anyway, enough about the emcee. let's talk about the voting.

so voting. well, it was supposed to be 10% of the final score for all the contestants. voting started BEFORE the contestants began singing, and ended less than 5 mins after the last contestant had sung. talk about unfairness. funny thing was when the emcee announced the voting was ending at 745pm, it was ALREADY 750pm. to which he gave a nervous laugh and proceeded to excuse himself from stage, which was probably the smartest thing to do.

and. when announcing the results, the drumroll was human generated. like, literally, 2 guys on the mic rolling their tongues. i think that pretty much sums up the whole experience.

it's occured to me that organisations in my university, be it staff or student run, tend to be highly disorganised and grossly unprofessional. doesnt take much to notice that.

anyway. i typed most of this in school. haha. i might get thrown out. :P

losin' my way.

walk da talk.

may i first state that i CAN spell. there is no mis-spelling of the title of this entry.

i have discovered gospel RnB in christianity in the form of an all girl band named Walking on Water. please go to www.walkingonwaterband.com and buy their album. you need to trust me on this right now. you've been listening to lots of christian rock, praise and worship, etc. i've discovered hip hop, and now, RnB. and i tell you, you will like it. REALLY. give it a shot. take a leap of faith and tune into this groovy sound of da JC. Walking on Water are a local christian band who do RnB, gospel and jazz. they did a show case at the UCC last year and i did not go, which makes me want to kick myself at this very moment. REALLY. i am not paid, or affiliated with the band. i just bought the CD and listened to it and really digged it myself. so TRUST ME on this, and be self respecting. support local music, buy the CD!

and as a sample. i am going to put the lyrics of my favourite song right here on this blog. well it's also coz i really feel for the song, so it deserved special mention. i think they have samples on their website so PLEASE. go to the link and give it a shot. :)

World Falling Apart - Walking on Water

I take the Bible try to read Your word
It's been a long time since i heard You speak
I used to feel You by my side day and night
Now where is the Light my guide?

How do i reach You?
Why don't i hear from You?
What do i have to do?
To be by Your side

Oh Lord it's so hard, to lift You up
Sing Your praises, from my heart
With my world crumbling around me
And my life falling apart
Oh, it's so hard, to praise Your name
And exalt You, it breaks my heart
I feel all by myself, slowly falling apart

I drag myself to church every sunday
it's been a long time since i felt the Word
The sermon's full of hollow words
Empty promises
They don't help me at all, oh no

How do i reach You?
Why don't i hear from You?
What do i have to do?
To be by Your side

Oh Lord it's so hard, to lift You up
Sing Your praises, from my heart
With my world crumbling around me
And my life falling apart
Oh, it's so hard, to praise Your name
And exalt You, it breaks my heart
I feel all by myself, slowly falling apart

Oh no, it's all changed by Your love
My Jesus

i count walking on water as one of my musical influences now. :) heh. at least there is hope now. for someone like me. i may not have any formal training, but i'll get there. just you watch and wait. :)

now, i must sign off. i love ya'll :)

out of our comfort

vienna waits for you

the new year has descended upon me and i'm, well, optimistic. i havent much hopes for the new year, but well, it's gonna come and then it'll go, so i say, live for the moment, capische? :)

it's funny but i'm at a total lost for words when it comes to blogging. but i did have some thoughts today that i wanted to pen down. here goes.

you ever think that you're not an average kinda person, and the people you hang out with are really not your average joe? i'm not sure where i'm going with this, but i know i am meaning to say that i think all my friends, in some way or other, are misfits. (i mean this with no malice, no ill will. just hear me out.) going back to VJ has made me think of certain things today. i think one of the reasons why TSD became a place where friendships that will last were forged is because we were all kinda like misfits in society that found a place to fit into.) well. at least i think i am one of them misfits who found a place. i need to illustrate my point by naming some people, so i hope you wont kill me when you read this. i really mean no harm. it's just me, and my opinion. disagree if you will. :)

for example. corrie's the really smart kid who would have stuck out like a sore thumb if she was anywhere else. i think in TSD we allowed her to be simultaneously cool and smart at the same time, and not just the book worm she might have turned out to be. i love the kid you know, though she's so smart and most times i dont know what she's trying to say coz it's way over my head.

then there's rau, who has made being smart and being bimbo (for that matter, crystal, as well) at the same time a possibility.

oh then there's xijie, who, in my opinion, does whatever she wants and cant give a hoot about what others think, which is totally personality i think. i mean, old people parties? beatles, all that old school stuff, i think that's really cool and unique, and it's refreshing to see someone who would do whatever without caring what others think. i kinda wished sometimes i was like that.

and i think, if you look carefully, we're all misfits SOME WAY OR OTHER. but the beauty of all the people i've gotten to know in TSD is in that quality that makes us a misfit, makes us different, and it's a uniting quality because we're ready to accept each other's quirks, and sometimes embrace them, and possibly, even make them our own.

maybe it's not just TSD, it's everywhere else. but for me i experienced it most in TSD. something tells me i need to move on. get on with life, and stop raving about how good tSD was for me. but i cant help it. i'm a sappy emo piece of shit, and i cant help myself.

thanks to jeane reveendran i have embraced my emo quality and taken it abit too far. DANG. haha.

i recognise i may be totally wrong in certain things i have said here (or right beyond believe that you are left in disbelief). i guess my point really is i love the dynamics of friends made in VJ. i mean, it's somewhere where i feel like i can be a total misfit myself and be at ease. well, almost fully at ease. aiyoh i dont know lah. all i know is i like it, and it's familiar. not always comfortable, but i get by. :) i am contented. :) i think that's what matters.

enough of explaining myself. i dont know what else to talk about anymore.

i'm signing off.

this was ting, misfit no. XX

take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile.