Sunday, October 16, 2005

To Darlings in A52, A55, and TSD as a whole

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
- LeeAnn Womack, "I hope you dance"

And suddenly it's all over, 2 years have gone and i know, being the sop that i am, i'm gonna miss you guys when as the days go by. But i know, that on one random sunday afternoon, when i'm sitting in my favourite chair, i'll be thinking about all of you. :)

this song really says all i want to say to all of you. :) Keep dancing coz the song aint ever gonna end :)

With love from my heart flown.
Peace out brothas and sistas! :)

Where those years have gone.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Pinter Wins Nobel Prize in Literature

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - British playwright Harold Pinter, who juxtaposed the brutal and the banal in such works as "The Caretaker" and "The Birthday Party" and made an art form out of spare language and unbearable silence, won the 2005 Nobel Prize in literature Thursday.

Pinter "in his plays uncovers the precipice under everyday prattle and forces entry into oppression's closed rooms," the Swedish Academy said. The chilling, understated style of his work even inspired an adjective all his own: Pinteresque.

"I feel quite overwhelmed," Pinter, 75, said outside his London home. "I had absolutely no idea."

He said he was "speechless" when told he had won, but added: "I have to stop being speechless when I get to Stockholm."

Starting with his breakthrough play, "The Caretaker," Pinter codified a style in the 1950s and '60s of verbal evasion and violence, menace both spoken and not. His influence has been felt throughout British literature, and across the ocean in the work of American playwrights Sam Sheppard and David Mamet

Pinter restored theater to its basic elements: an enclosed space and unpredictable dialogue where people are at the mercy of each other and pretense crumbles," the academy said.

His other works include "The Room" and "The Dumb Waiter."

One of the most influential British playwrights of his generation, Pinter in recent years has turned his acerbic eye on the United States and the war in IRAQ. He has been an outspoken critic of Prime Minister Tony Blair and vehemently opposed Britain's involvement in the war. He told the BBC in an interview in February that that he would continue writing poems but was taking a break from plays.

"I have written 29 plays and I think that's really enough. I think the world has had enough of my plays," he said Thursday.

In 2003, Pinter published a volume of anti-war poetry about the Iraq conflict, and in 2004 he joined a group of celebrity campaigners calling for Blair to be impeached.

Pinter has also written screenplays, including "The French Lieutenant's Woman" in 1981 from the John Fowles novel, as well as "The Accident," "The Servant" and "The Go-Between."

Pinter is the first Briton to win the literature award since V.S. Naipaul won it in 2001.

The son of a Jewish dressmaker, Pinter was born in London on Oct. 10, 1930. Pinter has said his encounters with anti-Semitism in his youth influenced him in becoming a dramatist. The wartime bombing of London also affected him deeply, the academy said.

The academy's announcement came on Yom Kippur, Judaism's most important holiday.

Most prolific between 1957 and 1965, Pinter relished the juxtaposition of brutality and the banal and turned the conversational pause into an emotional minefield.

His characters' internal fears and longings, their guilt and difficult sexual drives are set against the neat lives they have constructed in order to try to survive.

Usually enclosed in one room, they organize their lives as a sort of grim game and their actions often contradict their words. Gradually, the layers are peeled back to reveal the characters' nakedness.

Some of Britain's leading playwrights praised the Swedish Academy's choice. Tom Stoppard said the award was "wholly deserved and I'm completely thrilled."

"As a writer, Harold has been unswerving for 50 years," said Stoppard, whose plays include "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" and "Jumpers." "With his earliest work, he stood alone in British theater up against the bewilderment and incomprehension of critics, the audience and writers too."

David Hare said the academy had made "a brilliant choice."

"Not only has Harold Pinter written some of the outstanding plays of his time, he has also blown fresh air into the musty attic of conventional English literature, by insisting that everything he does has a public and political dimension," said Hare, whose own politically charged dramas include "The Permanent Way" and the Iraq war drama "Stuff Happens."

Last year's winner was Austrian feminist Elfriede Jelinek. Her selection drew such ire that a member of the academy publicly blasted his colleagues for picking her. Knut Ahnlund, 82, who has not played an active role in the academy since 1996, resigned Tuesday after he wrote in a signed newspaper article that picking Jelinek had caused "irreparable damage" to the award's reputation.

The academy, founded in 1786 by King Gustav III to advance the Swedish language and its literature, has handed out the literature prize since 1901. To date 102 men and women have received the prize, including France's Jean-Paul Sartre, who declined the 1964 prize.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

i want to be weak

i'm fast running out of "liting you can do it"s and i am really starting to burn out. it's difficult, i know everyone says you'll be alright at the end, or you'll come through, but what if i'm that sucker who doesn't? that minority, unfortunate ones who just cant make the cut? i'm afraid. For the first time i'm really really afraid of how i'll do. with no grades to prove anything to myself or the world, i'm finding it increasingly difficult to live each day. knowing this will end soon is comforting, yes; but how it will end worries me and i sometimes find myself completely paralysed with fear. The grades break down is C C D E. for some strange reason i actually did relatively well for lit. i don't even dare look at my history paper 3 grade, because i didnt get my level 6 for source based question, and i messed up my essays. i don't think i can face ms goh. i must have made a bloody fool of myself. and Harris probably thinks i will be one of those who wont get an A for lit. I have a sickly feeling he might be right.

maybe i just want somebody to belive in me. i need someone now, who'll let me be weak. it's just been difficult and tiring, being strong for the people around me, being encouraging and just cheering people on. i want to crumble but i cannot. not because of anyone, it's just coz i can't find it within me to just let go now, because i know i'll hit rock bottom and it'll be terrible, horrible and extremely disastrous.

I will not allow myself to hit rock bottom.

that sounded extremely meek and weak. This cannot go on.

help.

lights will guide you home

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Revelations 205

am pretty messed up. Basically i dunno what's wrong with me but i'm getting myself into a lot of trouble.

coming home and not helping to cook, i get scolded for not helping around the house. and it's not like it's a good day which i can look back on and be happy. TSD was not so great. I have been overly complacent and it's really my fault. But the thing is that it's not like i didnt prepare for it. Which worries me because what does that say then? That i'm useless at TSD? no. as corrie said today: we need to find that magic again.

it is 815pm and i am sitting here, half lamenting, half optimistic. I don't know if we'll all make it for A levels anymore. I think it's not difficult to see that we all want 4 As. I mean, that's the ideal is it not? but when you become a cynical idealist you really think, 4 As can't be anywhere in sight. As of now grades stand at:

Econs: E
TSD: C
History: Probably C/D
Lit: I am expecting a D/E

So grades look like this now: C,D,E,E.
When what i was hoping for this time was a B,B,C,D
And the real ideal is: A,A,A,B

wow liting. needs alot of work. must look on the bright side and keep my head up. By God's grace i must get by. and honestly, not by my might, but by His spirit. there's alot i can do. So i do all of that, and let God do the rest. then i am safe in His hands. Yay. :)

I am going to go back and study. Very soon. And well, i guess i will go on blog hiatus soon. Probably after one last post. Well, this is not the last yet. But soon. Soon.

Today i realised that friendship can be the most insidious obligation in the world. today i learnt that there must be a limit to everything. And that, i think along the way, i just lost track of keeping it real.

i admit that sometimes i get carried away doing things for people, and it can get very disgusting. Not that i am going to justify myself here, but i suppose i am trying really hard to please alot of people, and well, sometimes, even when they don't need/want to be pleased. This is extremely dangerous. that is why today i realised that it is time to start living a little more, for self? well, at least, giving people more space, and leaving some time for myself. In a way, i guess it's time to be a little more self-absorbed.

i fear becoming a monster. i mean wat if i overdo it?

i guess life is all about striking balances. And it is time for me to learn the rights and wrong in dealing with others. it is really through this kinda things that people learn, and people grow. I know i can never, in this life, be perfect. But let's get as close as we can, shall we?

it is time to go. and before i do, here is a tribute: to Dawn, whose little gesture of sitting down to hear us out today really makes me feel like there is still love in this world. yay.

off to study for SAT.

With FAITH like a child.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

another remedy for Khruschev and Kennedy

everytime i try to blog i don't know what i want to say. It's like i hit a mental block and in the end i decide i shall not say anything. then there are times like these, when i just feel like talking lah. haha.

this is starting out angsty.

anyway, did i mention that Queen is my new favourite band? and Freddy Mecury is really one of the greatest rock legends to have ever lived. Bohemian Rhapsody has got to be one of rock's greatest hits. in short, i sort of wished i was born in the Queen era. but well, i guess their music has become timeless, and so, i can still enjoy it now. I REALLY LOVE QUEEN.

i met up with val on thurs (i love ya girl) and i think it was one of the best days i've had in a long time. it did start off a little rough and i felt a little lost coming back to school and all. It hit me that somehow, being in a roomful of people is more alone than staying at home by myself. anyway, that's not the point. Point is, i really love my best friend, and holding that stack of pla-cards for you and seeing you smile when you read 'To me, You're Perfect' really made my day. i sensed that in some ways i think we've both changed. I was a little more distracted, a little less capable of engaging in the conversation, and you did seem a little shaken and well, just not quite your usual self. but i guess it all didnt matter (well, not to me at least) because in our periods of silences, i felt a comfort that surpassed all the anxiety and insecurity that plagues me sometimes. there's something calming and reassuring in the presence of a best friend. something i would trade almost anything to have again. i once told corrie about my love for my best friend.

corrie] says:
whats your definition of bestfriendship
corrie] says:
(sorry i know v random hahah but have been thinking about things)
we're one and the same just like water says:
my bestfriend and i share something that is too beautiful to explain.
we're one and the same just like water says:
basically, she's the one i never feel uncomfortable with.
corrie] says:
wow.
corrie] says:
okay
we're one and the same just like water says:
i can tell her ANYTHING and know she wont judge me.

Did i mention that i love my bestfriend? oh yes. I did. :)

and each night i thank God for sending you to me. :)

anyway nice Queen song for you here! :)

Queen - You're My Best Friend

Ooh you make me live
Whatever this world can give to me,
It's you, you're all I see
Ooh you make me live now honey
Ooh you make me live

Oh you're the best friend that I ever had,
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine and I want you to know
That my feelings are true, I really love you
Oh you're my best friend

Ooh you make me live
Ooh I've been wandering round, but I still come back to you
In rain or shine, you've stood by me girl
I'm happy at home, you're my best friend

Ooh you make me live
Whenever this world is cruel to me, I got you to help me forgive
Ooh you make me live now honey, Ooh you make me live

Oh you're the first one, when things turn out bad
You know I'll never be lonely, you're my only one
And I love the things, I really love the things that you do
Oh you're my best friend

Ooh you make me live
I'm happy at home, You're my best friend
Oh oh you're my best friend

Ooh you make me live
Ooh you're my best friend

haha. literally huh? :) i love you stinky.

ok moving on. i think i better end here before i turn to mush. :)

good night.

measure in love, Seasons of Love