post 201

horror of horrors, chew han ei's blog layout is the same as mine. oh my matha!

anyway. we are so playing for SDD :)

yay! haha

can we play bohemian rhapsody? :P

hahahahahahahahahaha :)

nothing really matters ... to ... me ....

you think that i'm strong, you're wrong.

no this shall not be an angsty post.

*breathes*

anyway. My comp is up and running again. For those of you who didnt know, my comp crashed 3 times in 3 weeks. but i can't seem to find any problem with it. i hope it's alright now. If not i will so smash it into 3 million pieces and make the makers of Dell mix the bits into coffee and swallow it.

the comp is barely 6 months old by the way. in fact, it's only about 4 months old.

on to greater things.

Jamming today was terrible. I am losing my guitar playing fingers i tell you. honestly think that the band will do better without me. did i mention i'm losing my singing voice?

quoting dawn: moving on with life!

GP today, shall not talk about it.

it seems these past few days have been pretty rough. sometimes a friendship gets strained for no reason, and you don't know how to put it back together. i guess i'm caught in that. I dunno what's wrong. I think it's me, but then again i might be wrong. You never seemed happy with me anyway. i guess i realised how different our personalities are, and mebbe it was all just a mistake. it has to be me. maybe i'm just paranoid? i dunno. i just dunno how to communicate anymore.

but i'm not the type to give it up. There will be someway to sort it out. maybe after A levels.

but anyhow. I know there are people around me who love me right now. am grateful. but i can't help the empty feeling within me. I think i need to be alone for sometime. To stay away from everyone. Mebbe then it'll all hurt less.

shit i wasnt supposed to be sad/angsty in this post.

Anyway. just wanted to say am very proud of TSD's Country Wives, who kicked serious ass and won the theatre sport competition title for best team. which, according to desiree, is tantamount to first place.

*beams* am extremely proud of the four of them. :)

ok i am gonna go continue writing testimonials. :)

i dont want the world to see me.

sing a sad song just to turn it around.

'my weakness is,
I care too much'

i realised that there's a deep valley between us that i can't find the energy to bridge anymore.

i'm just sad.

Daniel Powter – Bad Day

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day (Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day

i will be alright. tomoro is a new day.

work on a smile and go for a ride

Dollied

now that it's over reality has set in and i am feeling a little down. i miss FOH. i miss Val, Sol, Gerard (Lackie, Val's hubby) all of the year 2 crew, lepak in the toilet, the photos, shazzy's running man, farah's camera, ana and my little 'shop' on circle 2, sarah's mugging during the show, michelle's star struck state which i thought i'd never see in front of tan kheng hua, yuhui bouncing around, viv and the camera, and helen, who i think has a wonderful model look going for her and should join a modeling agency.

oh boy, i miss those DOLLIES' BROLLYS!!! (or is it BROLLIES?)

i hope there will be a next year. :)

anyway, sat was a real treat, a refreshing new taste after boring econs notes. I have come to the conclusion that i need to practise pool more and play better CONSISTANTLY. Because i keep fouling up when not concentrating. luckily for me i do not want to take it seriously, if not i'd be more uptight than a tightly wound ball of string.

but it was beautiful. time well spent, and lovely to the very end. Sat was wondefully beautiful and emotional day, a day which i wont forget. i realised that the most beautiful times for me have been spent with the same groups of people consistantly, and i really think that's awesome. some of my favourite moments: (in no particular order)

1. jon's birthday. had only one *person* missing
2. sitting at Dawn's playground just hanging out til late @ night somewhere last year
3. Bus rides on 55 and the brief conversations with nene
4. Bus rides on 15 with ana, talking about strange strange things
5. Cheesecake cafe after college day. *sweet :)
6. Fish and Co treat this year with Dawn and Crystal coz i cut my hair and lost the bet
7. Conversations with corrie, turning my life around
8. staying late at night for slots, helping people out, doing random stuff
9. Studying (or attempting to) with raudee
10. walks to siglap with jon
11. Online convos with Dawn
12. Squishing my Shifu
13. GROUP!!!! :)
14. Pool at orchard where me an nene got thrashed by 2 minahs and a mat
15. Movies!!! :) *The Island, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory*

and so much more. i just cant write all of them out.

as you already can tell i am in a warm and fuzzy mood. i guess it's coz i need sleep, but oh well. :)

i want this year to end, but i dread leaving everyone and moving on with life.

let it go liting, let it go.

i'll stand by you.

otherside of the world

i'm in a stage where life feels kinda like in limbo now, where the head and the heart do not fit, where i am feeling unstable, and sprouting nonsense. sorry corrie.

ok that's that.

basically, over the weekend i got to go and actually SEE esplanade's backstage. i went ON the stage and saw how everything worked from behind. and with gaping mouth and bulging eyes, i was left in a state of complete wonder. it was then i realised, this is a dream. this is what i WANT to do. i want to be part of the action, i want to run the show. i don't wanna be in it, but i wanna run it. from behind, giving each cue, each direction, every little detail. i dont want it to stay a dream. oh let it be reality.

as the backstage tour continued, i was just left in utter, total amazement. everything is so precise, and so neat, so on the ball. NOTHING was out of place. even right down to the smallest smallest prop, it ALL has a place. i was reminded of the way a team works. the way creative arts ministry works in a way. how, everyone, no matter how small a role he/she plays, is important and has his/her own place. ok i am just rambling, but i remembered how important every person is. and i told myself, i shall not neglect anyone.

but that's besides the point.

all i know is, if there is a Dim Sum Dollies next year, (or ANY production for that matter) i want to work on it. even if i have to make coffee, sweep the floor, clean the toilet; i WILL DO IT. if this is how i start out, then i will do it. if you're a theatre professional reading this now, please please please please let me do this next year!!!!

and in the midst of all the studying and wanting to die, i'm spurred on by a dream, to work in production in the future. and of course, that means doing technical theatre arts. i am considering the Tisch School of Arts in NYU :) they have a degree program in Design for Stage and film. which is not quite what i want to do, but there's always Lasalle. :) hehe :) so many prospects, so near, yet so bloody far away.

oh man. let my dreams become reality.

wake me up when september comes.

you had a bad day.

Dim sum dollying has been FUN! :) and this one song has been keeping my spirits up :)

'When the going gets rough,
Say enough is enough,
Throw your head back and laugh!
Life's too short not to be happy
(happy happy happy!)
Don't let them take that away!'

i am on a high. and life, is treating me good :)

wycherly, here i come! :)

Was i out of my head?

in the middle of Brechtian rehearsal techniques ...

1. your gynaecologist – Rau, because for some reason, it's not discomforting to have her look up in between my legs, though i do imagine she'll be filled with wonder. :P

2. your son's wife - Er ... i dunno .... i think i'd like someone sweet and demure. so i think i'm going with (oddly and strangely enough) [insert name here]

3. your daughter's husband – Conan, i think he'll make an interesting son in law :)

4. your boss - Vivienne, because i like taking instructions, and she likes giving them

5. your husband/wife's best friend of the opposite sex – Xijie.

6. your household pet – Esmonde. ENUFF SAID :P

7. your lawyer, assuming you just killed a nice old pregnant lady out of sheer evilness - Rashez, because she is corruptible :P

8. your lawyer, assuming someone thinks you did it but you were really doing mrs liew's essay at that exact moment – Still Rashez ... because she is nice person :P

9. your brain surgeon - Des... WOKAY I WANNA WAKE UP NOW!!!!!

10. your single parent – Angela, like this, laundry, food and general household cleanliness are taken care of :P

11. your alone-on-a-desert-island person – Shaun, because i dont think i'll ever be bored to death listening to theories about Mother courage in the Bronx

12. your invisible friend – Sarah, because then i can keep asking her: ARE YOU MY CONSCIENCE? :P

13. the king/queen of the world – Michelle, so boss already might as well be Queen right?

14. the kind/queen of the universe (universe > world, by the way.) - Farah, because i agree with Corrie, and might as well, since the world already revolves around her ...

:)

haha.

Wokay i go now.

somebody gonna get hurt real bad ...