write your ambitions on a paper napkin.

Cheesecake right after a detox diet. bad. bad choice. GAH. but well, i enjoyed it. and i managed to limit carbo intake. :)

after college day (which has to be the most pretentious part of VJ school life), rashie, me, rau and des went to the cheesecake cafe coz des wanted to go. Try the strawberry oreo cheesecake at $5.80. I LOVE IT. :)

we were talking, and decided to embark on a look into the glass ball to see the future of A52 in 10 years. here are the results:

in 10 years, these are the jobs we see people in ...

1. Arika:
   
• Indian Housewife
• Animal rights activist
  
• Tuition teacher
  
2. Conan:
   
• Some guy working in an MNC who does speeches
  
• Writer
• Rock Star
• Slack lawyer
• Political dissident
  
3. Carol:
   
• Wife of conan/ co-habitation partner
  
• Waitress
  
4. Grace:
• Wife of Jia Chuan
• Mother of 6 (Rashez' magic number!)
  
• Studying for PhD
  
• Peace Corp / Animal rights activist
  
5. Desiree:
• Image Consultant
• Advertising exec
• Brand manager (Des self proclaimed this)
  
• Interior Designer
  
• DJ (Another self proclaimed one)
  
6. Vanessa:
   
• Cook
  
• Food Critic
• Piercer/piercing person. (Whatever you call it)
  
• PE Teacher in Primary school
  
• Tuckshop owner
• Tattoo artist
• Mime artist
• Children's yoga instructor
7. Farah:
• Housewife (Rashez likes domesticated people)
  
• Airhostess
  
• Photographer (Like amanda peet in alot like love)
  
8. Corrie:
   
• Music teacher
• Writer
• Successful musician
• Good Christian (Raudee said this. haha.)
  
9. Sarah:
• Accountant (Rashie)
  
• Pastor
• Teacher/councellor/psychologist
10. Shaun:
• BAD! DEPRESSIVE! (Don't ask me why. i dunno. haha)
  
• Psychotic method actor
• unmarried
11. Liting:
• Rashez says: 'esplanade! ... erm ... working in it.'
• Married housewife (Rau, where in the world did this come from???!!!)
  
• Fishmonger (Rashez)
  
• Restaurant/pub owner
12. Rau:
    
• Mother
• Makcik. [Rau draws smiley = :( ]
• Kindergarten Teacher
• Clothes Designer
  
13. Viv:
    
• Blank (Rashez)
  
• Bartop Dancer
  
• Events Manager
• Lap Dancer (?!)
  
• Producer
• Struggling Actress
  
• Porn Star (?!)
  
14. Kenneth:
    
• Lawyer
• Gossip columnist
• Sports Columnist
• Loanshark
  
15. Sunil:
    
• Indian PM
  
• Priest
  
• Married
• Future Micheal Jordan
  
• Lawyer
16. Yuhui:
    
• Artist
  
• Art Gallery manager
• sleep therapist/ hypnotherapist
  
• Globe traveller
17. Angela:
• Fashion Designer
• Cook
• Children's art teacher
• Owner of a beautiful home
  
• Owner of art cafe
  
18. Michelle:
• Theatre - London's West End worthy. (Fulltime job)
  
• Actress
• TV
• Drama Teacher
  
19. Esmonde:
    
• unmarried and in celibacy
  
• Teacher
• Cook
  
20. Rohana:
    
• Travel the world
• Journalist
  
• Will die early
  
21. Rashez:
    
• Wife of Far horizons
• RICH, LOTS OF CASH
  
• Young PAP
• Ruthless corporational women
• Setting up own clothing line: Gill's Street
• Pubbing and Clubbing often - Alcolholic
22. Xijie:
• Florist
• Accountant
• Cafe Owner
• Entrepreneur
  
• Passionate even in major set backs
  

HAHA

Nothing written here is in challenge or provoke, which might bring VJ more school attention.
But then you can band with the crowds,

not happy? Cofront me! :P

ok i'm done with this. need sleep

ok goodnight

Deep and meaningless.

welcome back the love sick puppy.

love is a sticky emotion. i dun really understand it, but i do think that love is an emotion, not a concept to be discussed over food and drinks, lounging in Lofty's living room. this once, it got too hard for me.

i think it's high time i said some things, so bare with me awhile.

there's a nagging feeling within me, finding out. knowing that you like someone, but he likes someone else, and you feel like the bottom of the ocean, dark and dank, and scared. you want him to be happy, but then you can't help but feel that you've been left behind. it is inevitable, i suppose, that the person you for once, feel like you could truly love, and i am talking about a serious serious 'crush' (i don't think it qualifies as a crush anymore actually), will find someone else. when you're me, it's no big surprise that guys don't look at you in the girlfriend sort of way. don't get me wrong. i'm not angry or sulking or what. sometimes i wished guys would notice me in a different sort of way.

i like to indulge in an alternate reality, where everything in my history was different. Like i was born and STAYED skinny, perhaps maybe i would have been less tomboyish? but hell, all this is foolish talk. the truth is he will never, ever know. and i know i will move on to love someone else, but he'll always have a special place in my heart. in a way you can say i've never been this fond of a guy before. so to have to accept the fact he likes someone else is going to be a little hard to swallow.

i want to cry and rant. but that's so teenager and juvenile. i miss him already.

i guess i'm at a crossroad of my life, and it's both wonderful and trying. though this doesnt make it much easier, i suppose God just wants to remove all distractions. i suppose He wants me to focus on Him. in a way, this revelation now may be a blessing in disguise.

i want so much to tell him. but i don't want it to become weird. there's too much at stake to say anything now. ignorance, for him, is bliss. perhaps for me as well? all of this is becoming too familiar. i dunno what i've just written above, but i guess, the bottom line is, i am in love, all over again. and almost instantly, i've fallen off my chair and it hurts.

one thing i'm not sure of is, should i be hurting?

i want to cry and rant.

'i still light up like a candle burning when he calls me up.
I still melt down like a candle burning everytime we touch.'
- Still by Macy Gray

still be loving you baby, and it's much too much

without you i'll never feel the love inside of me.

what a weekend ahead. it's going to be one 'heaven' of a weekend. (hell aint exactly the best word to describe it :P) am looking forward to it.

allow me a moment to just feel weak.

ok moment's over. time to look at life with rose tinted lenses. :)

i'm not deluding myself. i admit that life has been rough for me, i've been going through too much. i've been trying to get my life back on track, to find that joy and passion i've felt before. when i was on fire, things were much easier.

but in the words of sinatra: 'i wont let it, let it get me down.' :)

this is a confused liting. ok not confused. just well, abit unsteady. that is why even when i feel a little down, i'm still putting smileys all over this blog post :)

because, there are things to be happy about. i want to stop complaining. that = contentment :)

the bottom line is this: being alone has never been so rejuvenating :)

ok i think i better go. :)

haha :)

world: i love you. you know who you are.

Dawn: congratulations. this is one small step for you, but one big leap of faith. :)

ok i am going. for real now :)

I wanna be like You

Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson

You hardly even notice
When I try to show you this
Song it’s meant to keep you
From doing what you’re supposed to
Like waking up too early
Maybe we could sleep in
I’ll make you banana pancakes

Pretend like it’s the weekend now
And we could pretend it all the time
Can’t you see that it’s just raining
There ain’t no need to go outside

But just maybe, hala ka ukulele
Mama made a baby
I really don’t mind the practice
Because you’re my little lady
Lady, lady love me
Because I love to lay here lazy
We could close the curtains

Pretend like there’s no world outside
And we could pretend it all the time
Can’t you see that it’s just raining
There ain’t no need to go outside

Ain’t no need, ain’t no need
Can’t you see, can’t you see
Rain all day and I don’t mind

Telephone singing, ringing, it’s too early
Don’t pick it up
We don’t need to
We got everything we need right here
And everything we need is enough
It’s just so easy
When the whole world fits inside of your arms
Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm
Wake up slow, wake up slow

But baby, you hardly even notice
When I try to show you this
Song it’s meant to keep you
From doing what you’re supposed to
Like waking up too early
Maybe we could sleep in
I’ll make you banana pancakes

Pretend like it’s the weekend now
And we could pretend it all the time
Can’t you see that it’s just raining
There ain’t no need to go outside

Ain’t no need, ain’t no need
Rain all day and I really really really don’t mind
Can’t you see, can’t you see
We’ve got to wake up slow

:)

let the ink from my pen bleed

turn on the boob tube

hello world. some hiatus from blogging huh? haha. well. i am back. :) in black.

and i have to go. like soon. like go bathe so i can go out for lunch. :)

anyway. i just wanted the world to know:

liting is a renewed person. :)

and the angels, they're having a party :)

aiite. i'm going. :)

i live my life for YOU.

'But sometimes it seems completely forbidden
To discover those feelings that we kept so well hidden
When there's no competition
And you render my condition
Though improbable it's not impossible
For a love that could be unstoppable'
- Never be the same again, Mel C.

everyone around me seems depressed, and i wished i could do something to help. it's these helpless times when i dread not having a purpose. but then again, it's sometimes the best state to be in. because anything above this is pure busy body-ness. when there's a need for space, it's a learning experience for me.

i constantly have to tell myself that people sometimes just need space.

if not i might just worry myself sick.

the week's been tough, and it's not ending yet. i should be doing my history paper, but well, that can wait. tomoro i do TSD.

or by the way. this weekend, it's Public P. i hope i'll see you there. :)

i believe people have the power to disillusion me. and the effect is bewildering. (is there such a word?) i shall not explain, but i'm very disillusioned, because sometimes the illusion you paint for yourself of something or someone just crumbles.

what happened to the family?

i thought we all would have something going on for us. and we'd all actually be rather ok. today i was faced with a sad truth. is it the time? or is it just that we all have to function this way? that we're all stuck in this vacumm, and when it's all said and done it fills with the bitterness of the real world? i wish i never had illusions of these.

i feel blinded.

i cant decide what kinda state of mind i'm in. i'm not depressed, not sad, but not over the moon either. i saw my scar today. freaky.

i almost cried.

it was just my imagination.

my long drawn out holiday

so i had a holiday which was longer than your average, but i am dying absolutely from an overdose of econs and from boredom staying home everyday.

mon i get my stiches 0ut, tues i'm back.

in action. :) am looking forward to it. :)

wed i have to do bloody make up econs test. WOE IS ME!

i've studied it but i tell you, nothing went in.

i should be studying now, but WTH! :P

i miss being in the world, being in contact with people. in short, i just want to come out of forcefully imposed hermitage.

soon liting, soon.

i wish you were here.