i am the walrus

ok not quite, but i look like a golden monkey. my hair. is officially, gold.

i exaggerate. BUT it's really in a really light shade of brown. GAH.

i like it though. heh. :)

i might be able to rival farah, but i think her hair wins hands down.

haha it's like a melayu version of britney who goes on suria and performs. :P

i am wearing heels to prom. OMGosh.

big thanks to people who walked along the whole of town with me on mon until i found my shoes. :) i've never felt more comfortable searching for heels. i think i'm letting the bimbo inside of me out. oh no. haha.

i watched legally blonde 2 today. it is quite nice. then... i watched CONNIE AND CARLA. which is like, FANTASTIC :) i love it. it's super nice!!! :) quite funny lah and i swear, the idea of 2 women disguised as men dressed up as women is just super funny. my favourite line:

'women look up to us because [as drag queens] we exude more confidence than they do!'

or something like that. haha :) WATCH IT. it's a feel good movie :)

ok i should go, because i'm running out of things to say. ha. :)

good night world.

you're my banana that never split

so here i am

i miss rohana. ALREADY. and i dont know why and what for. haha. she's walking the sands of cairo and falling in love with the sphinx and here i am worrying about my prom outfit and other really, used-to-be-considered unimportant but because i have an inner bimbo i'm fretting about it now. haha. sigh. did i just admit i have an inner bimbo. OH no. argh rau get out of my head!!!! :P

anyway.

i'm at mel's house now and i've invaded her computer like a virus. it is my first sunday without the need to go home and study. yay! i'm going to see micheal bolton tonight, which is going to be weird because i'm not exactly a fan. ha. things i do as a daughter. :)

i've got my prom outfit. because, well, there is hope for big sized people in singapore. far east has a shop that caters for big people and i really think it's refreshing that i can fit into the smallest of sizes in a female clothing shop. HAHA. :P what the hell i am full of nonsense.

and the latest on my hair updates! i am not braiding my hair. *sobz* i cant. my mother said cannot and refused to give broke little me money to do it. but i can go and cut and dye my hair. i want 3 colours. hehe :P yay! at least my mother's paying for that. woohoo! now i must call it's hairy to cancel my appointment. sigh.

i feel some kinda euphoria that A levels are over but it's been kinda directionless and i've been at a lost of what to do with my time. people please go out with me! if not i'll just rot and die of boredom!

and i know he doesnt read this, so i'll just say it out. i think jon's still uncomfortable around me and it's worrying me. someone please, dispel this and tell me i'm just being paranoid coz i cant help it. sigh. my mind is playing tricks on itself. GAH.

i need to go now. and well

i love mel.

i didnt type that. GAH!

ok i'm going for sizzle my nizzles!

under the bridge

over and over again.

now that i've actually come to this end-in-sight that i've been looking forward to for so long, it feels anti-climatic. It's not like how i thought it'll be, but then again, i suppose there are so many opportunities for the long deserved break. honestly i'm quite lost, and i dunno what i really should do. i'm going to kick back and relax for the time being, but then, it's a LONG time to go. until july next year at least. well, actually feb coz then the results come.

i dunno if i should feel scared or what, because i'm fighting with myself, whether to expect the best, and be optimistic and risk being let down, or expect the worse, be pessimistic and risk spending the rest of my life until july in misery. oh gosh, what should i do??

but in any case, God's grace has seen me through. i have survived.

anyway, the money spending has begun and i'm going broke. ALREADY. i need to find a job. like, really. i need money, cash flowing in instead of going out. i feel bad spending my parent's money, and so, i am going to find a job, earn some cash, and lead the life i want to.

time to learn to be independent.

anyway. :)

i'm uploading songs into my tootPod. haha. :) am very happy. yay!

i rest my case.

i'm gonna go now. :)

bliss.

7 months begins, now. :)

could not resist. haha. :P

i'm not going to give any reasons unless i have some. mostly it's all from the top of my head. haha. :P

1) The person with the most under-rated intelligence - Rohana

2) Person with the nicest hair - Xi Jie; I dont think you can ever beat that crop! :)

3) Person who talks the most - Me; i think i say too much. haha :P

4) Person who eats the most - Corrie; need i say more? ;P I still love you duopardner!

5) Most bimbotic - HAHA! OBVIOUSLY RAU! BR!!!!!

6) The prettiest boy - Kenneth; i dont think the rest qualify as pretty boys.

7) Person with an inner bimbo - RASHIE!!!! Don't try and hide it!

8) Most cynical person - Conan; hello Larry from iceman.

9) Pillar of the class - Sarah; because without her i think A52 would have forgotten there's A levels. haha

10) Funniest person - This is difficult .... But the ONE i always laugh at is Farah. i'm sure you all agree.

11) Blurrest person - RAU. it's the bimbo in her, and the burning money. honestly, the easiest to dupe :P

12) Most perverse person - HA. what counts as perverse? i cant answer this one.

13) Quietest person -HA. like there's anyone quiet in A52. used to be Sunil, but then he opened up. haha. bloody indian! :P

14) Person who pon sch the most - this one is difficult leh. Viv?

15) Person with the most beautiful soul - sorry, this answer is a biased one. i shall not divulge this answer. haha :P

16) Most organized person - Sarah. She writes most things down. haha :)

17) Person with nicest skin - Grace; her face is always so white anyway, never seen a pimple on it.

18) Person who is the butt of most jokes - Esmonde. or Shaun. can fight over it. haha. :P

19) Most musical person - Corrie or Conan; I think, depends on what kind of Music.

20) Person with the strongest personality - Michelle

ok haha. :P that's it :P

equanimity

ok so we're almost at the end.

it's been both up and down so far actually. since wed it's all been quite ... terok. today was just super weird. i found myself without anyway of using much of the language techniques i've been trying to stock up on. basically i'm not too sure how i'll do for PC (and for like history for which i crashed and burned like the soviet union), so now, i'm actually quite scared to see my results.

but none the less i place myself, wholly in God's hands. That is the only way i can continue to survive.

3 more. 3 more. 3 more ....

i must convince myself that it'll all be alright, because i know that i have given my best. and that it's now all down to other factors beyond my control. i REALLY hope and pray that i can get AABB. it's not too much to ask right?

unless God has other plans, (of which i have to admit that at this moment, i am not ready to submit to.) i must go and pray and hope for the best.

IT CAN BE DONE.

another 6 more days. 6 more til i finally taste the sweet smell of freedom.

and i bloody hell miss you.

i hope my uncle's dream that i got 4 As is not a fluke, but a premonition of a reality that is likely to come.

at least then, i can have a peace of mind.

anyway. i dunno what's gotten into me but i've taken to really missing people. i guess it's coz i've seen so much less of them recently, and that in someways i'm not the first person they talk to anyway, so i guess they generally don't say hi anymore. ah well. i know i still love them.

because baby, you're gonna be the one that saves me. and after all, you're my wonderwall.

i'm afraid of what lies ahead of all of us. i hope we keep in touch.

'don't walk away from me, i'm not done yet.' - Parking Lot Pimp

ok i'm gonna go. haha. good night star shine!

we're just ordinary people.

2 down, 3492750879583498 more to go.

ok i exaggerate.

but it is the end, of GP and of 'working hand in hand, commitment always.'

i am going to miss that.

anyway the IR question was DAMN fun! God's blessing really. :)

by the way, John Legend is AMAZING :)

wonderful. :)

i am rambling.

i need sleep.

arts fac shirt is damn nice.

i want to watch RENT.

Yay. woohoo ... AHA!

i am high.

AH WELL

good night world.

i know we'll be alright, i will save you.

"You are my strength when i am weak, You are the treasure that i seek, You are my ALL IN ALL."