superChristian is here ... :)

hello hello ... my comp has been hit by a virus and i dunno how to fix it ... sighs ... i'm using my brother's comp now ... this cannot go on lah ... argh ... anyway i shld be doing my M Butt, but i'm not becoz why? i'm blogginh you doofus ... haha ... i'm gonna fail my econs test ... wrote crap for everything ... sighs ... i'll be lucky to score more than 15 ... argh! things left to do: lit essay, M Butt, chinese test ... yeah ... i think there's more but i cant remember ... yeah ... d'oh!

anyway, i'm going for KC EMDD tomoro ... kinda looking forward to it ... well ... but then i cannot study for chinese test ... argh ... lao shi will so kill me lah ... argh ... i'm asking her for my CD back ... asked baka to ask for me ... but i dun think she'll return it ... if she lost it she must buy me a new one ... i dont care ... these things cost money. ok ... if she was my friend still then she'll still hafta return it ... i want my music ... i can do without her ...

i'm not sure about how i feel anymore ... i might have new crushes i might not ... i'm trying to control ... i cannot fall in love again ... not with girls for that matter ... i dunno ... i am a CHANGED person ... i love God and i dont want to do anything to hurt Him ... no more same sex stuff for me! :) no more! yeah!~

some thoughts came to me while i was doodling ...

Faith,
True Faith,
Believe in Him
Full reliance ...

yeah ... i will mature when i've reached this stage ... i know that is where i want to be ... total reliance ... total faith in Him ... yeah! Jesus i love You!

hands that flung stars into space ... to cruel nails surrendered.

come take me home

the Servant King ...

i just got back from Easter celebration ... ok i've been home for awhile ... but yeah ... it's over ... and the adrenaline's gone ... now i havent anything to look forward to ... gosh, i love theatre where people dont care if a light cue is missed, whether props are missing ... TSD's starting to get on my nerves, i havent finished my mono ... argh ... i think my mono sucks ... i dunno ... gonna screw it ...

ok ... so Easter was really good ... the turn out was good, and i think at least 1 person was touched? ok ... i speculate, but i have faith ... and anyway ... how am i supposed to know if anyone did experience anything? that's his/her experience with Him ... anyway, it's like i was thrown into a wonderful dream when doing Easter, but now, i'm thrown back into the real world ... that hurts ... i'm in a slight bout of depression now ... i dunno what's up, but i just feel very sian ... i dont wanna do anything ... i've got lots of chinese, history ... and my mono ... then there's also the lit essay ... ok ... enough ...

at least Baka came yesterday ... i think the production when quite well ... i dunno ... at least i met her yesterday ... duck and dog too ... well ... hmm ... i think Christmas will be a happy thingy thing ... like a comedy ... but it's so much easier to be drama mama then to act funny ... ok ... sighs ...

many names brought to mind last night ... Michelle, Fifa .... i'm the one suffering while they're ok ... i dont quite care actually ... if they're happy and i'm more or less ok then it's all good ... but i know i'm dealing with lots of bitterness ... but i cant deal with it until i have some closure ... i'm still holding on to the relationships ... i dunno ...

still holding onto God ... i need to ... i feel so inadequate sometimes ... sighs ... it hurt yesterday when people around me were breaking down and i was feeling nothing ... it got frustrating lah ... sighs ...

ok ... gonna mug now ... so not me ... the real me has been abducted by aliens ... i need help ...

come take me home

scream at the top of my lungs, what's going on?

i am doing econs now ... and i dunno when and how i'm gonna do my history ... sighs ... i might resort to doing it tomoro ... i dunno ... it's crazy lah ... i was just rejoicing that i dont have to do History this week ... how i know she'll ask for a make up ... and tomoro somemore ... sighs ...

anyway ... i had dinner with the 2 of them today ... i didnt quite know what to do ... but i got pissed at myself and the 2 of them ... at myself coz i got pissed at the 2 of them ... at the 2 of them because he appeared from nowhere without warning and i wasnt too sure how the others there would have viewed me ... i was in a sticky situation ... luckily they stuck with the crew ... sighs ... ok ... i have anger management problems ...

anyway ... i've got like 2 days more to all systems go for easter ... havent done my cue sheets yet ... i might do it tomoro and fri ... i will find the time i guess ... i'm so busy i shldnt be wasting time ... ok ... need to start eating at home from now on ... i'm broke ...

i was glad i could talk to michelle again ... it was nice to know that she hasnt forgotten me ... in a sense i cant say for CERTAIN if i'm ready ... but at least i feel maybe this time there'll be no more repercussions ... i think it'll turn out alroght so long as we're both careful. and besides ... i've got a love interest and eye candy ... 2 DIFFERENT people ... so it's enough to distract me ...

or is it?

come take me home

Napoleon Bonaparte rawks ... :) *yeah right!

i'm sitting in the library in VJ doing my History essay now ... clearly i'm distracted because i'm blogging ... hehe ... :) anyway i just saw "she who shall not be named" here and she walked out when i came in. hmm ... now she's sitting next to me ... i dunno what to do ... dang ... ok ... i hope she doesnt turn over and look at what i'm writing ... i dont really wanna hurt her ... but i'm being hypocritical lah ... damn it i'm bad ... but i dunno ... sighs ...

anyway ... i just got my project work grouping ... and i'm in a pretty cool group. i mean ... at leasti think i can work with them lah ... no hard feelings between all of us. i'll tell you one thing ... i think i've got my mono ... think it'll be "coffin is too big for the hole" by Kuo Pao Kun. He's such a brilliant writer! i love his plays ... i shall read more. :)

i've got lotsa work to do, but no time to do it ... hope my life right now is being lived for HIm ... i mean ... i'm gonna try and fast later ... so then at least i know i've spent time with Him today and we'll both be happy ... :) anyway, last night i came to the realization that the WeiJun i know, is not WeiJun, but Johnathan. That's the character he's playing on Easter. it hit me quite hard. i feel like i hardly know him anymore. and it's like my relationship with him is not quite there. and sometimes, little things he says whne he's joking, they hurt ... and i dun undastand why he says them ... he's not that bad i suppose, but still ... sighs ...

ok ... i'll be getting back to my essay soon as i finish this. i think Jene's in a rough patch now ... not that i have to worry, coz she's in God's hands, but i really hope she'll be ok ... i dont want to see her break down ... Jene if you're reading this, i love ya gal ... take care yeah? i'll see you around ...

ok ... Napoleon here i come ...

come take me home

blog blog blog blog blog ...

ok ... i blogged yesterday and my stupid internet connection just went bust ... so i hope this post will go thru ... i had a pretty crap day today ... like it so sucked lah ... firstly we had our teachers scold us about stuff ... and then the issue of theft came up and that really upset me ... i mean, i wld feel so betrayed if it was an inside job ... i really hope it's not ... and for the person outside who did it ... "may it be on your head!" ha! dang it ... it really is very upsetting ...

anyway ... life is just a bullet train now ... i must live this life out for HIm if not i'll just lose it ... i wldnt know where i'm going if it's not for HIm ... yeah ... easter is in like 5 days ... i hope things go well ... still need to go get a gobo ... and a family photo ... who in the world looks old enough to be weijun's mother?! sighs ... anyway ... i'm tired but still full of passion for this ... i really hope the PA crew will come ... gosh ... i hope Vanessa comes and Rashez too ... i really want these pple to be touched that night ... God shall decide ... :)

today i think i got my senior into trouble ... i feel very bad abt it ... i left mics outside PA hall coz pple from PA were there ... but pple forgot to put the mics inside ... it's my fault lah ... but yeah ... sighs ... i feel so bad ... :(

ok ... let this crap day pass and tomoro shall be good ... i love MY GOD :)

come take me home

posting in school again ...

i just ponned econs today ... just didnt feel like going ... seriously, i tell you i dont really care anymore ... i'm in the PA hall now doing crap ... i really should be at econs ... but do i care?! ha! actuALLY YEAH ... BUT WHAT THE HECK ... anyway, we just cleared some parts of the TSD room ... SOME parts of the TSD room ... haha ... will leave the rest to do it ... anyway ...

i'm kinda alone in a room with no pple ... like now i guess i dont feel so alone anymore ... the problem is i didnt try to fit in ... but when i did ... i think pple know me now and dont ignore me anymore ... :) something to be happy abt i guess ... :) anyway, on the A52 front, i think i'm getting along with pple quite well ... :) yeah ... i guess i'm not as depressed as before ... but i still am a little bit bitter and insecure ... so dont cross me yeah?! ha!

anyway ... my life right now is really crazy ... i've got lotsa stuff to do lor ... i got lotsa easter stuff, school stuff ... sigh .. i'm just damn tired lah ... i havent blogged in some time huh? ok fine ... not very long lah ... but still?! dont cross me! :P haha ... ok ... lame ...

so i didnt get the humaninties scholarship ... you know what ... i think it's good ... coz i guess the big Guy up there knows what He's doing ... i figured that if i got it, i'd probably crumble under the stress of being a scholar ... this scholar thing does NOT work for me anymore lah ... so i'm happy... :) yeah! you know what ... good luck to the rest of the pple who made it ... "may it be on your head" bwhahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha :)

anyway ... i'd better go now ... do some work i guess ... haha ... see you ard ... :)

come take me home